Denials, “statements” and lies are news?

1/2/2008:

I’ve been watching this train-wreck of a story unfold out of the corner of my eye today, knowing it would amount to a whole bunch of JACK SQUAT, or should I say “Jack SWAT?”

A couple of dopey press conferences held today in Hoboken that got certain news media more excited than young girls do about the Olsen Twins, were essentially useless. The alleged ring-leader of the SWAT team, Lt. Angelo Andriani had a press conference earlier, where his lawyer denied all wrongdoing in terms of the charges brought up against him.

High-paid attorneys had over two months to come up with these crafty explanations in response to the charges. “Helping clean before a party” was the reason cops were being ordered to do yard-work, and imitating Robin Williams from an HBO skit was the explanation for the pseudo KKK mask. I wonder what the explanation for the wacky hat was?

Regardless, the information that surfaces from these “press conferences” is not surprising, and is as predictable as drunk idiots vomiting on St. Patty’s day. So why the orgasm over them? Just another move in the pathetic chess game we call Hudson County Politics.

Mayor Roberts later was bamboozled into a press conference by some internet rumors indicating there’d be an “official” city version. Ha! He basically said what you’d expect him to say: “He didn’t recall one of the gun pictures, and ‘thinks’ he left prior to it being taken” (denial), and that it’s “inappropriate” for law enforcement officers to allow regular citizens to hold a weapon (a genius statement any numbskull should already know.)

So what new groundbreaking information was learned today? None. Was so predictable, they should make a mad-libs game out of it, where you can “insert statement of denial here”, and “say what were already know” here, etc.

angelo-andriani-robin-williams-hoboken-swat.jpg

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17 Comments on "Denials, “statements” and lies are news?"

gmac17
Member

i think 411 did it after I posted it – i just posted a link to the picture.

mcspacebar
Member

Alright.
First off, that is brilliant!

& how did you post a picture?
Spill it gmac17!

gmac17
Member

BREAKING NEWS –

Hoboken Police Lieutenant Angelo Andriani was apprehended this afternoon at Newark Liberty Airport while apparently trying to flee the country using false identification. Police have released the ID Andriani attempted to use:

hoboken-angelo-andriani-fake-id-2.jpg

Tama Murden
Member

Black Comedy & Theater of the Absurd.

411: Your hilarious write-up, starting this discussion, is surely one of your best. Very inspired!

It’s like some mix of The Sopranos & Brazil here.

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