Why many people cheat?

Beyond the obvious – why many people cheat

Ever since most of you have passed your teenage years – the concept of “cheating” may have had an influence on your life in one way or another. Why many people cheat is a profoundly interesting subject.

You might have been “cheated on,” or you, yourself may have “cheated on” someone else.

“Being cheated on,” for the most part – is a violation of a social contract.

There was an assumption or verbal agreement that two of you were in a “relationship” of some kind. Most typically it’s “boyfriend and girlfriend,” or “Husband and Wife…”

And those so-called decreed relationships were supposed to be exclusive as well as respectful.

At least in the monogamous society we’ve been born and bred to honor. But why do so many people “dishonor” it? Is it something that isn’t inherent in human behavior?



“Cheating” is such a nefarious phrase. Something about it does not sit well with me. I do not “cheat” by the current definition – but I wonder about the other aspects of “cheating” that could be considered.

In my opinion – like I said above, was “cheating” is essentially a “violation” of some kind of (unwritten) social contract between two people. Sometimes the contract is actually written (or verbally construed by someone like a Priest, etc.)

But what is the “contract” exactly?

It differs between people, that is FOR SURE.

Is “flirting” also considered “cheating?” What about “fantasies” or even self-pleasuring?

Cheating is certainly “subjective…”

I try to look at all perspectives when it comes to this so-called “violation” of social contracts.

Each case HAS to be judged individually. NO WAY you can just say “Wow, this guy (or girl) just cheated on his girlfriend (or boyfriend)” without understanding the circumstances.

In some cases, it can just be a case of the “assholes.” Where someone never intended to honor the meaning of what monogamy is. Self-centered.

And in other cases, it can be more troubling. Where relationship issues have caused one of the parties to feel sad, lonely, or unloved. Where they seek out a “replacement” feeling or companion to fill the void, but are afraid to end a disrupt the routine in their life (cohabitation, shared expenses, etc.)

But there is one clear obvious reason…


Narcissism is probably the main reason

The more I think about it – regardless of the troubling circumstances one might be in – narcissism is likely the primary reason all people cheat.

Filling their own perceived needs and wants. “Me, me, me!”

Because if everyone was honest – the act of “cheating” would never happen.

Unhappy relationships would end prior to any “extra-curricular” activities.

Individuals would be upfront with their intentions, i.e., “I am having multiple relationships at once,” etc.

But the narcissist doesn’t enjoy a level playing field – where the other party is informed enough to make their own decisions. They sneak, lie, and misinform for their own personal gain.

And the technology vortex we’re in is just propagating this awful narcissistic trend even higher – almost to the point where dishonesty rules and loyalty and nobility are the exception.

Interesting times we live in, that’s for sure.

why do people cheat

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