Alcohol Throttling: Does it makes sense?

Alcohol Throttling – how many of you do it? How?

As you make your plans this weekend – how many of you think about what I call Alcohol Throttling?

By “throttling,” I mean some kind of system that limits or truncates the amount of booze you imbibe for the night or course of time.

Because it may mean more to some of you than others…


Why throttle alcohol consumption?

For starters – it depends on your age. Why you’re a “fresh” human being – you can take TONS of abuse across the board (just look at the millennials these days – they just want to “experience” life, right?)

And part of that experience includes indulging in not-so-healthy endeavors – alcohol consumption being one of them.

When you’re in your 20’s – you will undoubtedly get hungover. But you rebound quickly (highly dependent on your physical level), and don’t pay much mind to how many Coors Lights you sucked down the previous night.

But as you get older, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and beyond – “sucking down” booze at a breakneck pace comes with harsher penalties to your well-being. Some worse than others. And as you rack up “miles” on your fragile human body – new procedures have to be implemented in order to maintain basic functionality.

Alcohol Throttling is probably a good habit for ALL

pace-yourself-drinking-alcoholMost of you have heard of the often-parroted “tip” for sensible alcohol consumption – and it usually involves hydration. From “having a glass of water between drinks,” all the way to “drink a quart of water before bed.”

Dehydration is typically the number one reason (cause) for a bad hangover.

But limiting your consumption of booze is not always as easy as “Oh, I’ll just have a few drinks,” and can be dangerous if hydration is NOT factored in.

After a particularly terrible hangover last month (a whole day wasted), I wanted to re-think my alcohol regimen.

What are you drinking exactly?

We’re normally pretty good. We really don’t drink beer much anymore these days.. (other than a beer or two before we open our bottle of wine. Why? Because our opinion is that beer gives you the fastest “happy buzz.”)

But our vice of choice is almost always red wine.

And there is a difference between having a “full strength” glass or two of wine at a fancy restaurant – and “taking a load off” at home after a long day.

In fact, while most people “follow protocol” of how to drink wine (sip it, go slow, etc.), it’s apparent not everyone is cut from the same cloth.

We love COLD beverages and drinking them fast. Other than soup, I hate ALL hot liquids. Wine included. That usually involves a giant cup, lots of ice, 50% water – and our favorite wine of the week. And a straw!

While wine snobs look down upon me for choosing that way to drink – it’s actually a long-established way of drinking way back to the Greek and Roman days! In fact, the Germans call this a “Bicycler” as it enables one to enjoy the (watered down) drink while still maintaining the ability to ride their bikes.

This can still cause a problem – especially because of the “speed” in which you can drink.

How we throttle alcohol consumption:

watered-down-wine-a-good-ideaNORMALLY – I have a protocol I follow:

Ice, wine and water. In the same cup. With a straw. Then drink and enjoy.

Usually, the ratio is about 1:1.

But depending on the cup size, the types of ice (and amounts) available can throw my “ratio” out of whack.

For example the other night we had some 90+ Cab, and I stupidly almost drank two bottles at 7/8ths strength! Felt like garbage the whole next day. I slapped myself for drinking it so strong and so fast. The usual hydration before sleep was NOT enough. Why? Because we didn’t pace ourselves or hydrate sufficiently AS we were enjoying.

A good rule of thumb is to pace yourself to no more than 6oz of wine per half hour (at a maximum). That would mean it’d take about two hours to down a regular bottle of wine.

Either drink full-strength slowly (along with some water at least halfway), or water down your wine if you like drinking fast.

Drinking a whole bottle in an hour, with little hydration is recipe for disaster. Doing twice as much during the same time is even worse.

Key takeaways for enjoying alcohol with minimal pain

  • If possible, drink less – or not at all. You’ll always feel better if you just “opt out” like you do visiting advertiser-supported entities like us with your stupid ad-blocker. Assholes!
  • Pace yourself. If you’re a slow, casual, drinker – then this is no problem. Should come naturally. Not everyone is like you, though. Some people have external issues they want to drown out (or possibly die to escape from), so they need extra help.
  • Throttling. As we said – this can happen multiple ways. Alternating booze / water. Usually works good in the beginning – most likely to fail the more you’ve had to drink.
  • DILUTING or watering-down. Works pretty well for us. Almost win/win. Get the satisfaction of fluid consuption – without the rapid downward spiral of drunken stupidity. Bonus: Wake up feeling better.
  • ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS – take a massive piss, then chug at least 24oz of water, preferably a quart. Also bring a glass or bottle of water to bed to drink after your morning piss (provided you didn’t wreck your organic bamboo mattress by ejecting your bladder). Water is king.
  • Eating – we don’t think so. Some legends say eating “absorbs” whatever. Fuck that. OUR experience shows that eating is self-satisfying to a degree. But almost always unhealthy, will fuck your body up, and (our experience only) it just DELAYS the hangover for a few hours because your body was distracted doing other stuff.

Our favorite is the “watered down wine method.” Why? Because we have always had the LEAST problems and recovered the fastest using that method. Plus, it’s fun!

Your mileage will vary. But we have lots of experience experimenting with the theories above, and experience is king! Try it yourself and see!

alcohol throttling

Leave a Reply

Be the First to Comment!