Walgreens Parody – “Gangreens”

Friday Fun: “Gangreens” – A Mad Magazine parody of Walgreens

Haven’t done many “Friday Fun” posts here at Hoboken411 since well – around Hurricane Sandy. So that said – and considering we have chain pharmacy Walgreens here in Hoboken, I figured this “Gangreens” parody would a perfect way to lighten up on the last work day of the week.

I strongly recommend subscribing to Mad Magazine. At just $16 a year – it’s a great way to get some entertainment without electricity or cell signals.

Gangreens Parody of Walgreens in Hoboken NJ Mad Magazine

Gangreens – staffed by “mumbling twenty-somethings”

Mad Magazine chose to mock Walgreens in their “Gangreens” sales circular parody. It was filled with ridiculous products that flood shelves across the country. And some of the products they came with were outright hilarious!

Why do they sell food at pharmacies anyway?

Does anyone wonder why they even sell food at pharmacies? Mad’s take on that situation: “Food… Here? Why Not?” and some fun stuff to eat, like:

  • Frozen Sparrow Thighs for just $24.99 – “100% American-shot meat!”
  • Disney Theme Park Bottled Water for $5.99 – “100% authentic water from the Log Flume!” (Gross!)

Gangreens food frozen sparrow thighs disney log flume water Gangreens

One of my favorites was the “Land O’Clumps” Non-Spreadable Margarine. 3 for $5 or 5 for $3 – your choice! The guy looks really frustrated stabbing the tub of impossible to spread gunk on his piece of burnt toast.

Gangreens Land o' Clumps non-spreadable margarine Mad Magazine Parody

And they even had coupons, too! Like:

  • Blanquet Meatless Chicken Skins for $4.99 (that’s actually a neat idea for low-carbers!)
  • Goldfish Mercury-Added Crakcers for $2.99 (love the sick looking green fish!)
  • Northern Border Canadian Salsa for $3.99 – Regular or Semi-spicy.

Gangreens coupons

Toys for kids of all ages at Gangreens!

This might rub some people the wrong way – but they even sell “Cheap toys for your spoiled, screaming kids!” (What, did writer Jeff Kruse create this in the crowded Hoboken Walgreens filled with stroller-moms? Hmmm…)

Below is the great G.I. Joe Waterboarder. “Not responsible for emotional injuries. The official toy of the Pentagon!”

GI Joe Waterboarder Gangreens Mad Magazine Parody

Gangreens does sell medicine and “whatnot”

Below is one of my favorite collections of product parodies in the entire piece:

  • “OverKill” pills that do it all! Cough, Cold & Sinus – Breath Freshener – Corn Remover and Cellulite Blocker all in one!
  • Ten-a-Day “Ultra Weak” vitamins.
  • Polygamy Test from Johnson & Johnson & Johnson
  • Hearing Aid 50-foot Extension Cord – hilarious! Why?
  • “Flavorine” spicy eye drops in four flavors: Picante – Mango – Cookies & Cream and Picante-Mango!

Gangreens Medicine and whatnot Mad Magazine Parody

Make summer fun for everyone at Gangreens!

Last example is the “Liquid Welcome” Insect ATTRACTANT for just $7.99. You’d be a huge hit at the Hoboken Movies Under the Stars if you bought this!

Gangreens Liquid Welcome Insect Attractant Mad Magazine

They had other funny products, like:

  • “Shower gels with pretentious names that don’t even describe the scent” (“Forever minus three”, “Vague Aura”, “Locked Room Mystery” amongst others)
  • “Slightly Used Lipstick”
  • “Pierre LeJerque Cologne & Window De-Icer” and more!

It really is a funny magazine and worth subscribing!

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A polygamy test kit would be re-branded as a hypergamy test kit if sold in Hoboken.


I love the polygamy test kit! I have a friend here in Hoboken that could use it too.