A woman and the pride of a real man


Some “Friday Fun” before the weekend…

Meddling with the pride and passion of another

Best response ever to a stupid question!

For almost any car or truck out there, you can find an “Enthusiast Forum” for it. Whether it’s tricked out new cars, retro cars or off-roading types – like over at the Jeep Forum.

It’s where men (or women) who are passionate about their vehicle in some fashion go share tips and ideas with other like-minded individuals (I used to be on the VW Touareg Forums – was great!)

Anyway, earlier this month – some girl signed up and asked the following question to the group – about her boyfriend’s 1996 Jeep Cherokee he was fixing up:

’96 Jeep Cherokee: Need Opinions
“So, my boyfriend bought a ’96 Cherokee (XJ) SE, for way too much, like around $3,000. It broke down and he has put another $2,500 in it and totally rebuilt the engine and did a lot of after market work on it. He has and will do all the labor himself, he refuses to pay for labor. Now, he finds out that the motor needs to be taken back out and fixed again and is looking at another $700. I said he should just sell it and wipe his hands clean, he says he won’t make enough. Firstly, what is your guys’ opinion on what he should do? Secondly, how much do you think he could make parting it versus just the whole car as is?

Thanks for your guys’ opinions!”

Put in her place very quickly!

What happened was, the first responder to her question essentially told her what a woman is supposed to do when dealing with her man’s passion and pride:

“You want my opinion? Ok…

Shut the hell up. You’re not his wife. You’re not paying for the repairs. It’s absolutely none of your business what he does with his Jeep or his money. I know your type well… first it’s “Sell the Jeep because it’s costing too much money.” Then it’s “No, you can’t go spend the weekend with your buddies because I need you to take me shopping.” Then it’s “Oh gee, honey… I’m pregnant. Gosh, I have no idea how that happened.”

You’re a DreamKiller. You kill a guy’s dreams, take away his future, tie him down with a fat mortgage and too many babies, and turn him into just another miserable guy wondering, “How the hell did I get here?”

Do you really want to help him? Here’s what you do… go to your local library (it’s a big building with books inside) and check out a couple of books on rebuilding engines. Read them, over and over, until YOU understand what needs to be done. Then help him get that engine out and rebuild it. Tie your hair back in a ponytail, put on some old jeans and get your hands dirty. Hand him wrenches, hold the light, pull the wire connectors apart, help him get the hood off… help him with anything he needs. When he gets tired, run inside and make him a hot lunch or dinner. Fix him coffee, hot chocolate, whatever he wants. (But NO beer. Beer is for when the job is done.)

Then when the day is over and you’re both exhausted from working on the engine, push him into a hot shower and jump in with him. Scrub his back, wash his hair, rinse him off, and dry him with fluffy towels still hot from the dryer. Then push him into bed and screw his ears off. Then get up the next day and do it all over again.

Make him realize that rebuilding an engine is a slow and methodical process. Make him realize that every step should be regarded as surgery; every step must be perfect… perfect torque, perfect fit, perfectly clean. If you run into a step that you just can’t figure out, ask for help from someone who knows what he’s doing. Are you cute? Put on a low-cut top, show some cleavage and go (by yourself) to the local Jeep shop, and explain to the guys that you are helping your boyfriend to rebuild his engine and neither of you can figure out this one little step, and do they have any advice…

Think it won’t work? Think again. We guys love to help cute girls, even if they have a boyfriend. (Hey, maybe you’ve got a sister, or girlfriend…)

But absolutely DO NOT whine or complain. Do not say a single negative thing. Not a single “Oooooo, I broke a nail.” If you break a nail, or cut your finger, or bang a knuckle, you just shut up and DEAL WITH IT. You should be a hopelessly optimistic, never-say-die cheerleader, encouraging him every step of the way.

That’s my opinion.”

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I googled this out of curiosity to see how much attention it is getting on the internet: a decent amount. This guy is getting criticized a bit for his misogynistic attitude, in fact. Who would have thought? Here is one comment I read which (appropriately) saw some irony:

“He was complaining how the girlfriend was going to tie the dude down, and then suggested she act like his slave. Go learn about engines, help him rebuild it, feed him when he’s hungry, and bathe him when he’s done and bring him beer. Yikes.”

It seemed pretty obvious to me that the advice giver was taking it a bit far… going to the ideal fantasy situation for the regular readers of the forum who have the same hobby as her boyfriend and she is basically writing them and asking “hey can you help me convince my boyfriend who has the same hobby as you that I’m right in my argument with him and I know what he should do better than he does?” The first 2 paragraphs are reaction to that and not that far off the mark whatever gender is involved. I have learned in my middle age to ignore all unsolicited sentences that begin with “you should” because it is somebody saying what they want me to do and they’re not really getting involved, but I’m doing all the work. It is manipulative to get involved in someone’s hobby or finances only to the point of giving them advice. My bf has a bike and I would do all the things recommended for him except going to the library and learning the zen art or whatever, because I could read it for 3 years and not get it. If you’re in love and not a greenhorn, you don’t need an advice columnist to tell you.[quote comment=”202991″]I googled this out of curiosity to see how much attention it is getting on the internet: a decent amount. This guy is getting criticized a bit for his misogynistic attitude, in fact. Who would have thought?… Read more »

Remember the saying..” the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys”


I’m a wife with mechanics and a number of self-made people in the family, and I can’t help but concur with this response. That whiny girlfriend up there needs a hobby of her own to distract her from something her husband really enjoys doing– and that’s the truth.

Also, a hobby is HOT, and I’m all for it!



Well said, I don’t think I could’ve put it any better.

Unfortunately, it’s my experience that these women do not exist.

Our cars are not our investment. They’re expensive toys, our crisis aversions, or whatever else.

Unless her last name is Blue Book, she should not be worried about if he overpaid or paid fairly. It’s not the point.