Recording couples that drink & fight
Looking from the outside in
Have you ever been in a relationship with the “perfect” person – only to have things unravel when Mr. Alcohol is introduced into the equation? Almost each and every time?
I know several couples like this – who are the textbook model for how two people can seemingly get along like bread and butter during the “daytime” type events, but immediately become confrontational and combative when booze consumption is involved.
To me, there are several diagnoses to these predicaments – and may vary from couple to couple:
- “Alpha” personalities surface and butt heads. Apparently, one half of the couple gets “beer muscles” and thinks they can co-exist on the same relationship plane.
- True feelings come out. Meaning that the relationship during non-inebriated times is invalid, and what transpires during drunken battles is the actual truth.
- Both sides communicate all the dirty laundry they’ve been coached into suppressing “for the benefit of the relationship.” In other words, it may be better to speak your mind on a more timely basis?
- The couple is just not meant to be together – but remain that way for personal (insecurity) reasons – and (see #2) the truth comes out.
- A communication breakdown during sober times. Certain individuals were taught in childhood to withhold an opinion, and become resentful at some point.
- The relationship was wrong from the get-go. Passion and necessity created the bond – but is far from all the necessary ingredients for a long-term partnership.
Would recording help?
I’ve always wondered if somehow it was figured out how to record couples when they get into their throw-downs. So that when they do come around the following day, they can see the errs of their ways.
However, I somehow doubt this would help more than 5% of those problem couples – because the issues are usually deeper-rooted than anyone would like to admit, and they’re likely to continue for a long time.
Two obvious culprits are unresolved childhood issues and immaturity. Incompatibility is another possibility, but it usually has something to do with developmental issues.
But in 2017, I suspect profound narcissism is probably the biggest problem – and the absolute hardest to “fix.”
Our tip is to cut the cord on any narcissists in your life completely. They’re next to impossible to reform.
Anyway – that’s our advice for today! Enjoy your drinks in moderation tonight!