If Gyms Were Honest

If Gyms Were Honest

Below is a pretty decent (parody) video depicting what an advertisement for a typical gym, or “fitness center” as they call them – would look like if they were entirely honest.

It’s from that Cracked YouTube Channel – which is fairly lame overall – but this video hit a sweet spot.

Gyms are not perfect body utopias – It all depends on YOU

With the sole exception of Planet Fitness – EVERY GYM, FITNESS CLUB, OR GROUP CLASS in Hoboken, is a bonafide rip-off.

RIP-OFF if I didn’t clearly mention it in the preceding sentence.

Planet Fitness is like pennies a day. The absolute cheapest way to waste your gym membership.

I find the whole personal fitness industry amazing, actually. It hits home on so many levels for so many people – I doubt that this will be a dying industry (like malls or other chain retail) anytime soon.


Because they have your ego. And your superficiality.

The most important psychological edge: YOU

I mentioned above – ego. People’s egos are fragile. And they’re important. Self-consciousness is a big deal. For most people at least.

Selling human pride is a big business.

And gyms and the promises of that modelesque body are great selling points.

They don’t encourage you. They don’t remind you if you haven’t shown up (recalling my $1500 wasted at NYSC uptown when they first opened up a decade ago – with zero remorse they debited hordes of my own cash even though I never showed up more than twice ever…)

Same reason why late night infomercials sell so many pieces of garbage. Because of those sweaty, tan, six-pack models they employ to promote their rubbish.

Funny thing is – there may be a tipping point. Because it appears that perhaps the “being in shape” thing isn’t as lucrative as it used to be (thank technology for that). Because now they’ve shifted the “sexy” and “in shape” mantra – to the “FAT IS BEAUTIFUL” bullshit.

Suck me sideways. Life is screwed up.

if gyms were honest - If Gyms Were Honest

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Tuesday, May 30, 2017 8:55 pm

Retro Fitness doesn’t seem to have that issue with members who don’t show up: the weight room is too often teeming with squat rack hogs and morons who are utterly mystified by the concept of re-racking weights.

And RF *has* reminded me to show up (during a stretch when I was going to another location). So there’s that.

Planet Fitness OTOH does not have an issue with squat rack hogs since THEY HAVE NO SQUAT RACKS.

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