These headlines could be true

These headlines could be true!
(Hoboken411 April Fools’ Day “Tweets” explained…)

A year or two ago, we sort of “abandoned” the premise of “joshing” readers on April Fools’ Day… I guess after doing it for so long – it became tiring.

But later that afternoon – a post published with “OMG A body at Pier A Park!” (which was nothing more than a homeless guy sleeping), but it played on the April Fool Joke premise that it could have been worse.

Head to Twitter to send some “ONION” out there…

Most of you know the website The Onion, which is essentially a 365 day a year April Fools’ Joke. (so funny that some mainstream publications STILL pick up some of their stories as true).

Regardless – I took a crack at some April Fool’s Day parody headlines – and headed over to Twitter to blast out some sarcastic tweets to see what would happen. I wrote a baker’s dozen of “phony” tweets in about five minutes.

For those that don’t follow that version of “social media,” these are the 13 Tweets we sent out on April Fools’ Day:

9:00AM:
18-car pileup on Observer in Hoboken NJ 3 dead, 9 hurt, 5 bicyclists. “Texting” blamed

Why did I use something that “might” have been construed as real? Not sure really – it was my first and only “fun” tweet of the moment. It was the big April Fools’ Day, so I said “why not.” Could sound plausible enough! “Let’s see what happens!” was the idea…

9:45AM:
76% of Hoboken NJ residents need “app” to get dressed in the morning. Wow!

You know the drill.

“Apps” are taking over. There is an “app” for almost everything you used to do with your “brain.” (yes, it’s in quotes for a reason…)

So I figured that some dopes would believe that – and they certainly did based on the hate mail we got! Haha! (on them!)

10:30AM:
Full time nanny needed in Hoboken NJ – 24/7 for the next 18 years. Any takers?

This was easy pickin’s…

I can imagine many families that have such “busy” lives – that they cannot dare “sacrifice” any of it for the benefit of the child they voluntarily brought into existence.

So I made up a fake nanny ad.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this was not the first….

11:15AM:
BREAKING: Hoboken “mayor” at press conference stoned, laughs at “25% tax cut”

Yes, it was a shot at the mayor of Hoboken. All publicly-funded workers, politicians, etc. absolutely should ALWAYS be under scrutiny. No matter how “good” you think they are. It’s just common sense to keep an eye on them.

I found a pic of our “lady” in charge, and had some fun with it. Doesn’t change the fact that she did INDEED promise a 25% property tax cut for EVERYONE in her first year “in office.”

Perhaps she found a legal loophole in the word “office.” Who the heck knows.

12:00PM:
First “Crossfit for Thumbs Studio” opens in Hoboken NJ (smartphone HQ of the world)

Crossfit is “trendy” these days (partly because of the tie-in with social media, peer pressure, etc.)

And also “trending” higher is people with hand injuries caused by excessive phone usage.

Why not marry the two?

12:45PM:
Poll: 9 of 10 Hobokenites would give up electricity, fuel & shelter “for the planet”

Being “eco-friendly” or “eco-conscious” these days is the “in thing” to do. And no one really knows what it even means. They just do it because they were socially conditioned.

So don’t be surprised to see a real headline like that one day in the near future.

1:30PM:
NWS issues “short skirt wind advisory” for Hoboken NJ this weekend – perverts on alert

Fun with weather.

2:15PM:
Mayor of Hoboken NJ meet & greet today (along with guitar solo)

Similar – but much better looking (and more talented!)

3:15PM:
Whoa! First ever “Smart Car Chess Tournament” at Stevens this weekend in Hoboken

You don’t think the robots will take over eventually?

4:00PM:
Hoboken considering new law for small biz – “must have at least 100 other locations”

As the mom & pops close down, only to be replaced with chain stores – this sounds totally plausible too!

4:45PM:
No joke: “power outage” cited as #1 cause for depression in Hoboken NJ – why?

This is actually true – with “anxiety” as well.

5:30PM:
Hoboken laundromats install facial-recognition to stop terrorists from “freshening up”

Fun with “current events.”

6:15PM:
STUDY: Hoboken NJ would lose a ton a day if Uber went out of business! Wow!

Everyone loves Uber now. No need to walk anywhere!