60 Second Review: Blue Eyes Cafe

Blue Eyes Cafe – right idea – wrong place, wrong time

For starters, we applaud the ambition of the proprietors of Blue Eyes Cafe down along the waterfront outside Stevens Institute. There is no shame in “trying” to make something work.

However, it’s our belief that the “planets have not aligned” properly – and this endeavor might be in for a rough ride.

In this case, it’s a decrepit and poorly designed piece of “city property.” This space is essentially supposed to be just a “hot dog stand” that temporarily serves snacks during sporting events on that soccer field. It has public bathrooms which are almost ALWAYS populated by wretched homeless individuals. Putting “private” bathrooms inside this place does not change that fact.

In the past, it’s be a variety of venues – none of which have been successful for long. But how does that factor into the future of “Blue Eyes?”

Blue Eyes Hoboken NJ

What is wrong with Blue Eyes Cafe?

Let’s start with their “opening event,” in which they gave “the public” a chance to sample the output of their kitchen.

What did they offer? Basic pasta noodles and pedestrian sauce, as well as under-cooked pizzas which they could hardly keep up with the demand of freeloaders (including “mayor” don Zimmer and her handler husband).

The problem with this “opening bash,” was they didn’t think it through. Not at all. If you’re going to host an event for people to FORM AN OPINION about your business – then you DO IT RIGHT or don’t do it at all! Who plans a big event and offers shoddy products? Do you want to be doomed?

Thin aluminum trays of cheap penne pasta? What does that tell you? Not sure if it was a Pupie Raia party or a new restaurant!

Blue Eyes Cafe Sinatra Pasta Noodles

Blue Eyes Hoboken samples

Wrong time. Wrong place.

For one, there is NOTHING ELSE going on in this waterfront area. Other than a few bars & restaurants, it’s not much of a tourist location (the day-trippers looking to view the NYC skyline for 20 minutes don’t typically hang around). Unless you have a slamming hot restaurant, you have a lot of work ahead of you.

This is nothing like the shores of San Francisco or Chicago (or even South Street Seaport in NYC) where there is a TON of other things to do. Boats. Attractions. Etcetera. The Hoboken waterfront is tepid to say the least.

Our initial prognosis is that Blue Eyes might be able to “ride the wave” of the (long deceased) Frank Sinatra during his epic “100 year birthday anniversary” (for unsuspecting Sinatra glommers), but otherwise “nice try.”

Sub-arctic winds in the winter along with hypodermic needles washing ashore during the summer won’t lead to much. The space is just bad. Cold. Impersonal. Non-inviting. No fault of Blue Eyes owners at all. Just the choice they made. And the food, service and quality does not make this a destination by itself (like places such as Augustino’s). Maybe their marketing message should be “Mention promo code “DOOMED” and receive a FREE WASHED UP TIRE fresh from the shores of the toxic Hudson!”

scenic views of rubbish outside Blue Eyes Cafe Hoboken NJ

Better ideas: Seasonal and convenient

If Blue Eyes Cafe lasts – God bless them. I hope they do.

If they don’t – and someone wants our idea of what WOULD work – read on.

This space, until Hoboken becomes a “bustling waterfront marina filled to the brim with activity and commerce,” needs to change their tune.

One – make it an ICE CREAM and ITALIAN ICE parlor exclusively during spring and summer months. You’ll bang out more sales than you can imagine!

And during winter months – sure, turn it into a PIZZA SLICE PARLOR (or maybe “soup kitchen”) – where people can buy cheap slices for a buck or two – along with beverages, etc. The homeless population alone could keep that place in business (also hot coffee and cocoa – a sure winner with high profit margin). A sit down type restaurant will struggle big time. Even a 7-Eleven type “pop up” would do better than a fancy restaurant.

Lastly – this property should be removed from city control. It ruined the last (somewhat successful business), and it will likely ruin all others that dare try to mingle with a bunch of inept “officials.”

Too bad – in such a “prime” area, it could be so much more.

views from Blue Eyes Cafe Hoboken NJ

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