Observer Highway Pie in the Sky
Observer Highway (HELL) commences
Word, up, people! The asinine “redesign” of Observer Highway in Hoboken is about to rear it’s ugly head to EVERYONE that wants to drive on it.
We said this eight or nine months ago – that this new layout is SHIT. Why? Let’s repeat ourselves:
- When two lanes of traffic in both directions (which gets congested regularly as it was), gets “slimmed” to ONE lane of traffic in both directions – you will have CLUSTERFUCKS more often!
- Parallel parking against ONE lane of traffic will ALSO impede traffic.
- TWO extra traffic lights will ADD to that misery.
- 130 parking spots on Vezzetti Way GONE – to make way for “bike and pedestrian” paths. Say what? That sidewalk there wasn’t good enough?
Here’s the drill: The “administration” (i.e., “mayor” don Zimmer) was “sold” by some beatnik engineer who knows nothing about Hoboken or the people that live and frequent this town.
I don’t care how fancy your “traffic modeling software” is.
It does NOT include: texting tools, “stop at every intersection grandmas,” and every other Hoboken anomaly. They fucked up. Plain and simple.
And after a few months of “bad Tweets,” and other “Facebook protests,” this slimy “mayor” we have will ABSOLUTELY have re-configure Observer Highway to appease the angry mob that will result.
So why not do it NOW you dopey bobble-head?
How will Observer Highway in Hoboken function with less throughput?
Well – it appears the city is acting hastily again. Instead of waiting to see how the NJ Transit Rail Yards Plan pans out (and THEN adopting the roads to the new volume), they’ve decided to “blow their load” and begin re-doing Observer Highway later this month.
In an attempt to distract residents and visitors, this project will begin later this month – and is expected to take around six months to complete.
What is involved? Reducing Observer Highway from two lanes of travel in each direction – to ONE in each direction (with various “left turn only” slots.)
Additionally – two new traffic lights will be implemented at Bloomfield and Park Avenues. Looks like they’re widening the sidewalks and removing parking from Newark Street between Washington and Hudson as well.
Engineers say everything will be “timed” to ensure perfect flow of traffic, and they claim that congestion will be reduced by up to 80%.
In a perfect world… But you’re talking Hoboken, here
Our take: I wish them luck. But I just don’t see how what amounts to reduced overall capacity can translate into better flowing traffic. And that’s assuming everything is PERFECT (according to their modeling software).
One hiccup on any of the peripheral streets would spill out so fast into Observer Highway, blowing holes in this grand plan. And this is before any massive development occurs on the south side of the road. Add in any unplanned volume, and inner roads would turn into parking lots and car horn symphonies – further lowering the quality of life for residents.
You ever see Observer westbound on a bad day? BOTH lanes are stuffed from Henderson to almost Washington Street! They’re removing 90% of the westbound capacity! That traffic will get pushed up Willow, Garden and Washington for sure! I don’t know what kind of “signal timing” can help people who take 10 seconds to get off their phones before they realize the lights turned green anyway.
And what about inept parallel parkers trying to wiggle their way in from the “speedway?” Good luck with that! Starting line for major upticks in rear-end collisions is 5 to 3.
This has potential disaster written all over it.
But cars will appreciate the smoother surface at least. We’ll see how this works out.
(click on diagram to see full size.)