Wow – “Foursquare Expert”

What is the point of being a Foursquare Expert?

I recently received this message in my inbox. It’s all about becoming a “Foursquare Expert.”

It read: “Your fans miss you. You’re a wealth of knowledge. Why not spread the love? You know burgers. Art is your thing. Up-and-coming neighborhoods are your jam. Are you the go-to amongst your friends looking for recommendations? Make it your New Year’s resolution to share the wealth, spread the love, become and expert. Leave a tip on Foursquare now!”

As we mentioned a few weeks ago – how Facebook is robbing everyone that “feeds the beast,” instead of doing it themselves outside the realm of social media – Foursquare is no different.

what is the point of becoming a foursquare expert - Wow - "Foursquare Expert"

WTF is this fake feel-good crap about “sharing the wealth?”

Let me deconstruct the REAL meaning behind this short – yet painfully obvious email from Foursquare:

“Your fans miss you.”

No, they don’t give a shit. FOURSQUARE misses you because they need more users to artificially raise their market value.

“You’re a wealth of knowledge.”

Sure, maybe, but THEY want to profit from your “wealth.”

“Why not spread the love?”

Spread it OUR way please!

“You know burgers.”

Who doesn’t “know” what the fuck they’re eating?

“Art is your thing.”

Opinions about art are like assholes. Everyone has one. So?

“Up-and-coming neighborhoods are your jam.”

WTF is “jam” anyway?

“Are you the go-to amongst your friends looking for recommendations?”

In other words – are your friends too stupid to figure anything out on their own? (Like tying their shoes)? Good! We want them to join Foursquare too – so you can tell them when, how and where to eat – then we can ROB those restaurants and manipulate ratings, etc.!

“Make it your New Year’s resolution to share the wealth, spread the love, become and expert. Leave a tip on Foursquare now!”

Wow, how many marketing tactics can you squeeze into one short passage? Resolutions (guilt), share the wealth (socialist buzz), spread the love (feel-good hipster), become an expert (faux status)… it’s sickening! All that for a digital “badge of distinction…” (same applies to Yelp, and all those other sites).

Have fun making some other group of people filthy rich!

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Was beginning to think I was the only one who felt similarly. Many of my younger friends are waist-deep in competing with each other in these social networks like Yelp and Foursquare. They’re addicted, and will check in at places and spend money to take photos even if they are not hungry just to get more clout. Never seen anything more artificial and stupid in my life. How does someone become engaged like that? What is the net benefit? Like playing a human video game of retardation on tainted steroids.

I asked Ralph (name changed to protect the innocent) about it, and he could not summon a sensible response to me. Like Spicoli he just did not know. That movie Clueless is now the standard script of society.