20 Reasons Hoboken Is The Prague Of NJ

20 Reasons Hoboken Is The Prague Of New Jersey

Hoboken resident Mark Sarian put together a fun look at why “Hoboken Is The Prague Of New Jersey” for your enjoyment.

“Prague , the sophisticated jewel of the Czech Republic, has sweet castles and a kick-ass history, but hey, so does Hoboken, New Jersey!”

1. Endless water features

“Prague boasts amazing hand-carved water fountains with intricate detail. Hoboken has man-made water features every time it rains!”

Hoboken endless water features

2. Hoboken’s St. Patty’s Day is just like Pražské jaro. Only greener. And sloppier.

“Every year Prague hosts the Pražské jaro (Prague Spring Festival) which sounds okay, but near Hoboken St. Patty’s Day, allows thousands of inebriated Jersey-ites to storm the city and be passed out by noon.”

Hoboken st patricks day

3. Hoboken’s mayors are just as corrupt! Or more!

“Mayor of Prague Pavel Bem was supposedly a puppet to Mr Janousek, whom people called the shadow mayor and “Voldemort.” Meh. Hoboken’s Mayor was arrested three weeks after taking office for taking bribes as part of an FBI sting that included selling body parts!”

corrupt hoboken mayors Peter Cammarano

4. Prague had Mozart. Hoboken has the Cake Boss!

“If you’ve watched The Cake Boss on TLC then you know Buddy Valastro can make beautiful music with fondant and some googly eyes. In the Czech Republic there is a little something called a Cukrárna, a favorite of adults and children alike; it is a sweet shop, bakery and confectionery all rolled into one. In Hoboken, there is Carlo’s Bake Shop! A one-stop shop for t-shirts, memorabilia, mugs, pens, (and sometimes cupcakes.)”

Hoboken cake boss Buddy Valastro

5. The Old Jewish Cemetery vs. Sybil’s Cave. Oy vey!

“In Prague, there is the Old Jewish Cemetery where the gravestones are crammed against each other in a standing-room-only mass of the dead. Hoboken has Sybil’s Cave. You can’t go into it or even near it, but it has a really creepy-looking gate!”

sybils cave in Hoboken NJ

6. Hoboken police love people!

“Prague has a highly trained professional police force. Boooring! One time, the head of Hoboken SWAT took his team to help out after Hurricane Katrina and hit every Hooters on the way home. All on the taxpayers’ dime! How’s that for “Stop and Frisk?””

hoboken police love people SWAT debacle

7. You can have your puppet masters. Hoboken’s puppets are REAL!

“Prague-ites take their puppetry seriously. You can catch a show at the lively and progressive Divadlo Minor, or buy a puppet for yourself at Truhlář Marionety. But at any point during the day in Hoboken you may see Batman! Don’t know his name but he rides around all day protecting Hobokenites by directing traffic and making seven-year-olds smile. Maybe he lives in Sybil’s Cave?”

Hoboken Batman

8. The Hoboken modern art scene!

“DOX, a new art centre opened in 2008, placing modern-day art in Prague. In Hoboken there are HUGE SIGNS directing everyday people to everyday things that to some seem like modern art, and to others seem like directions.”

Hoboken Clam Broth House

9. Inventors of America’s Pastime while it was Still in the Past!

“Who can forget Prague’s own Martina Navratilova (the first female athlete to carve her own tennis racket) center court at Wimbledon or František Plánička (nicknamed ‘Fancy Pants’) manning the pipes for the Czech National Football (soccer) Team. Although they did not play the first tennis match or football (again, soccer) games, here in Hoboken the very first baseball game was played on June 19th, 1846 at Elysian Fields (between the Kickerbockers and the New Yorks). Batter up!”

hoboken birthplace of baseball

10. Old Blue Eyes…

No, we’re not talking about Prague-born former Secretary of State Madeline Albright. It’s The Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra. Hoboken-born Sinatra lit the world (and a few enemies) on fire with his velvety pipes and sultry delivery. Just walk into any Italian eatery in Hoboken and you can be assured to see a painting on the wall of Frank or at least a sandwich named after him.”

hoboken frank sinatra

11. Beer. Bars. Brawls.

“With all due respect to the historic drinking halls in Prague and their deliciously brewed local beer, Hoboken boasts more bars per square mile than any other city in America. During the turn of the century, Hoboken city issued more than 236 liquor licenses. What’d you say?!”

hoboken beer brawls

12. Hoboken has local delicacies too. They’re called “Pizza.”

“In Prague after all that delicious beer, you may fancy some cold smoked mackerel or raw beef on deep-fried toast. What? Hoboken has more pizza parlors per square mile than any other city in America. During the turn of the century, Hoboken city issued more than 236 pizza-making licenses. What’d you want on that?!”

hoboken pizza

13. Why Bungee off a bridge when you can swim in the Hudson!

“Sure you can bungee off the Zvikovské podhradí, a bridge high over the Vltava valley that costs 900-1,000 Kč per jump (about $50). In Hoboken, for FREE, you can jump into the pristine waters of the Hudson River anytime. Just make sure Sully Sullenberger is nearby.”

hoboken hudson river

14. Gamble your money in Prague. Gamble your time in Hoboken.

“Take your chance at luck at the Savarin Casino in Prague. Or, for a real crapshoot, take a ride on a NJ Transit Bus and see if you’ll arrive at your destination on time or two hours late.”

NJ transit Hoboken

15. To the Moon, Existentialist!

“Outside the Spanish Synagogue in downtown Prague is a bronze statue of Kafka depicted as a gnomish figure riding on the shoulders of a headless, handless, footless giant. If, and when, your bus arrives at the NY/NJ Port Authority Station, right outside is a rusting bronze statue of famed TV bus driver, Ralph Kramden.”

Port Authority

16. The “Hoboken Lap-Dance.”

“Czech law skirts the issue of prostitution and as a result Prague is known for its prospering sex business. In Hoboken, contractors systematically skirt the issue of zoning laws and build to their heart’s content in the “Mile-Square.”

hoboken lap dance

17. Hoboken has a Really Old Clock too! And it works just fine. Sort of.

“Every hour on the hour in Prague, The Astronomical Clock built in the 15th Century releases wooden saints from trap doors, while below them a lesson in medieval morality is enacted by Greed, Vanity, Death and the Turk. In Hoboken, the Lackawanna Terminal Clock shows the time of day, every day, if you can see it, and except when it’s broke.”

hoboken lackawanna plaza

18. Hoboken teens shred away puberty!

“Apparently, in Prague some teens have taken to pickpocketing to pass their time. But in Hoboken, we put our teens to the test in this totally rad city-built and managed Skate Park!”

Hoboken skate park

19. You have it. I have it.

“In Prague, head to the Akropolis and hear local bands Lucie, Sto Zvirat and Cechomor. At Maxwell’s in Hoboken, once you peel your feet from the floor, dance to the heady rock of hometown fave Yo La Tengo.”

hoboken yo la tengo

20. The witches come out at night here, too!

“In a Prague tradition that rolls the best of Halloween and Bonfire Night into one, Witches Night (Pálení čarodźjnic) marks the death of winter and the birth of the new spring. In Hoboken, on any given night you may fall prey to the “Mad Booter” who treats lazy sign readers and colorblind curb watchers to a delightful metal boot on your car and a $170 fine!”

Hoboken cop car booted FAIL

Thanks again Mark for allowing us to publish his article!

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10 Comments on "20 Reasons Hoboken Is The Prague Of NJ"

YouStayCl@ssyHoboken
Member
YouStayCl@ssyHoboken

Missed the main/only similarity between Hoboken and Prague, in that both have an ‘old town’ and a ‘new town’.

joey maxim
Member
joey maxim

contrare,simlarity btn Hoboken and Prague was the jewish people ,political prisoners ,religious leaders nuns priests elderly etc put in death camps in time.Once a proud country but gave into hitler with a 1,000,000 man military..Adolph was a shrewed politican…Hoboken is an old town paid for by the dutch to the Indians for a few trinkets as well as nyc…Floods then as they are today..there is no similarity what so ever.People excepted what was unlike people of today..Again one day at a time…not an opinion but fact.btw ralph Kramden did not drive a bus in Prague..[quote comment=”220907″]Missed the main/only similarity between Hoboken and Prague, in that both have an ‘old town’ and a ‘new town’.[/quote]

YouStayCl@ssyHoboken
Member
YouStayCl@ssyHoboken

Ah, good points.. raised another couple similarities: both cities are known for flooding, have cobblestone streets and neither has its own army.[quote comment=”220908″]contrare,simlarity btn Hoboken and Prague was the jewish people ,political prisoners ,religious leaders nuns priests elderly etc put in death camps in time.Once a proud country but gave into hitler with a 1,000,000 man military..Adolph was a shrewed politican…Hoboken is an old town paid for by the dutch to the Indians for a few trinkets as well as nyc…Floods then as they are today..there is no similarity what so ever.People excepted what was unlike people of today..Again one day at a time…not an opinion but fact.btw ralph Kramden did not drive a bus in Prague..[/quote]

joey maxim
Member
joey maxim

may seem humorious but not in 1936..God bless Americia..[quote comment=”220909″]Ah, good points.. raised another couple similarities: both cities are known for flooding, have cobblestone streets and neither has its own army.[/quote]

homeworld
Member

I guess it doesn’t take much to be a ‘writer’ for buzzfeed.

BklynHobo
Member

Really…quite a waste of bandwidth.[quote comment=”220904″]I guess it doesn’t take much to be a ‘writer’ for buzzfeed.[/quote]

aurora
Member
aurora

I found a few quite funny, and appreciated the knowledge of Prague. Instead of all the drive-by bashing everyone is getting programmed into getting used to, try and realize a piece like this actually takes time, effort and thought. Another example on the long list of downsides of ubiquitous bi-directional communications. May not be at the Pulitzer level, but far above useless comments like that. That’s one click above a like or dislike button. In the near future, we’ll long for the days when people actually tried to think.[quote comment=”220913″]Really…quite a waste of bandwidth.[/quote]

joey maxim
Member
joey maxim

aurorora..contrare- cupcake its not bashing more than your lack of knowledge of history of those put in death camps..in the late 30s and 40s..one click above your moronic train of tought and Pulitzer level….People did think and were gassed burned and buried ..the city of Prague comared to flooded Hoboken..Lots of people died for your one click of dislike or like button..be happy your in silly Hoboken and wisen up.Ubiqutious bi-direction was around 12,million souls..wisen up cup cake and get of google.be happy your here[quote comment=”220914″]I found a few quite funny, and appreciated the knowledge of Prague. Instead of all the drive-by bashing everyone is getting programmed into getting used to, try and realize a piece like this actually takes time, effort and thought. Another example on the long list of downsides of ubiquitous bi-directional communications. May not be at the Pulitzer level, but far above useless comments like that. That’s one click above a like or dislike button. In the near future, we’ll long for the days when people actually tried to think.[/quote]

joey maxim
Member
joey maxim

the difference btn Hoboken and prague is that Nazi Germany didn’t invade Hoboken and put people in death camps..Mark you can always use your passport to return to your homeland if prague is such.wisen up.odds are you will stay here..lmaorotf. ➡ [quote comment=”220904″]I guess it doesn’t take much to be a ‘writer’ for buzzfeed.[/quote]

joey maxim
Member
joey maxim

btw didn’t the Czech’s give your their country away to hitler in 1936 with a million man army? would have ment a world of difference had the Czech no cubes stood up to heir hitler..No floods no busses off schedule and no balls..Mark twain could not have said it better had he lived in that era..You better stop doing research and or wacking your wire.[quote comment=”220905″]the difference btn Hoboken and prague is that Nazi Germany didn’t invade Hoboken and put people in death camps..Mark you can always use your passport to return to your homeland if prague is such.wisen up.odds are you will stay here..lmaorotf. [/quote]

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