Letter: Leave your babies HOME!

Hoboken Babies: Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

One Hoboken411 reader emailed us expressing her disgust at the very rapidly growing trend of parents bringing their babies to the local tavern with them.

“I’ve seen on countless occasions sleeping babies inside many Hoboken bars in town, while the parents ignore the child while they suck down drink after drink! What kind of mockery is this town turning into?”

I suggested to the reader that maybe some parents don’t even understand that the child is a real human, but rather an “accessory” to their ever-so-important and self-indulgent lives.

“Agreed. It’s a travesty that these 20-somethings think they can live in both worlds with no consequences. Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you SHOULD. This happens so often that it’s becoming ridiculous. Why aren’t parents leaving their young children home?”

Perhaps if more sensible people spoke up to poor-quality parents and said that “bars are NOT places for children,” then this trend has a chance of being reversed. But as long as people just look the other way – it will only get worse.

Do you think little babies should be in bars at any point during the day?

Leave a Reply

23 Comments on "Letter: Leave your babies HOME!"

Gloria
Member
Gloria

I’d like to add leave your SICK babies at home. This morning at Starbucks at least four hyperactive, coughing, sneezing weasels running around spreading germs like wildfire. And you wonder why everyone is under the weather. It’s disgusting and unsanitary, especially if you cannot control the beasts and keep them in one place. Doesn’t anyone have coffee makers at home anymore? Can’t you make a skinny chai yuppie drink yourself? Please!

briank
Member
briank

Go move to a cabin in the woods somewhere.
I don’t like old people. I don’t like to see old people in the bar/restaurant/coffee shop that I frequent. They smell funny and even though they have every right to be there, I don’t like them.
Or put the words “black people” in for “old people”, or maybe “gay people”, or whatever. Stop bitching and go somewhere else if you don’t like others, especially in a mile square city of 50,000 people. Are some kids obnoxious? Are some parents clueless? Yup- but you can say the same thing about any class or group of people. Go live somewhere else. [quote comment=”218895″]I’d like to add leave your SICK babies at home. This morning at Starbucks at least four hyperactive, coughing, sneezing weasels running around spreading germs like wildfire. And you wonder why everyone is under the weather. It’s disgusting and unsanitary, especially if you cannot control the beasts and keep them in one place. Doesn’t anyone have coffee makers at home anymore? Can’t you make a skinny chai yuppie drink yourself? Please![/quote]

briank
Member
briank

I am glad to hear from many parents and non-parents in response to this garbage written by the letter writer and 411. Add another great spot in town to the list: Clinton Social. Great food, a large back room were they throw all the families together in the early evenings. We spend a lot (order good food, not just wings), tip 25%, and get the heck out in under an hour. I would say we are pretty darn good customers.
Stay away from Zak’s- their attitude towards children is terrible. I will never spend another cent there either with or without my family.
As I have seen so many other times on this site with people complaining, suck it up or move. This is Hoboken now. It has turned the tide and become a family town again after a decade of being just a stopping point for the post college crowd.

HansBrix
Member
HansBrix

People who are peeved at kids in bars probably remember a time when there was a brighter line between where kids were allowed to be and those places off limits.

I recall the first time I saw the word “pub” as a kid. It was on a sign over a door inside a new england restaurant. My parents explained to 9 yo me that kids were forbidden in there. That’s how I began to see things. There were simply places where only adults could go and that was that. In those dark oppressive times kid were instructed to show deference towards adults, address them by Mr or Mrs and NEVER by their first name. In fact the code of child etiquette was strong.

Now that line is blurred if not obliterated. Hot tubs at ski resorts are now teeming with kids who share water with the usual scantily clad 20/30-somethings with more “adult” motivations, and others who want to just relax. At bars mommy has to keep baby Hudson from sipping her Blue Moon, or protect his delicate ears from those loud swearing jerks who keep f-bombing despite repeated scolds to knock it off.

Traditional kid free sanctuaries are vanishing. I’m no convinced this is a good trend. I AM convinced that if I express displeasure with it I will be met with a chorus of “you must hate kids.”

xxrjxx
Member
xxrjxx
Keep in mind that in many European countries even now, it’s accepted practice to bring your kids to the pub. I know I know….we’re not in Europe. But the letter writer also didn’t make it clear as to the time of day, nature of the bar (which was undoubtedly a bar/restaurant), or other specifics. There are plenty of bars where you won’t find kids…this is Hoboken after all. [quote comment=”218808″]People who are peeved at kids in bars probably remember a time when there was a brighter line between where kids were allowed to be and those places off limits.I recall the first time I saw the word “pub” as a kid. It was on a sign over a door inside a new england restaurant. My parents explained to 9 yo me that kids were forbidden in there. That’s how I began to see things. There were simply places where only adults could go and that was that. In those dark oppressive times kid were instructed to show deference towards adults, address them by Mr or Mrs and NEVER by their first name. In fact the code of child etiquette was strong.Now that line is blurred if not obliterated. Hot tubs at ski resorts are now teeming with kids who share water with the usual scantily clad 20/30-somethings with more “adult” motivations, and others who want to just relax. At bars mommy has to keep baby Hudson from sipping her Blue Moon, or protect his delicate ears from those loud swearing… Read more »
HansBrix
Member
HansBrix

You’re when you say this isn’t Europe. What they do there, including leaving occupied strollers outside resturants while the parents eat inside, is irrelevant to this argument.

And there are some bars where you won’t find kids…until the stroller brigade decides to march on those bars, which will happen eventually This is hoboken after all.[quote comment=”218812″]Keep in mind that in many European countries even now, it’s accepted practice to bring your kids to the pub. I know I know….we’re not in Europe. But the letter writer also didn’t make it clear as to the time of day, nature of the bar (which was undoubtedly a bar/restaurant), or other specifics.There are plenty of bars where you won’t find kids…this is Hoboken after all.[/quote]

IAmTheLaw
Member
IAmTheLaw
Yes, this is exactly the point. There are fewer and fewer “adults only” establishments left because self-absorbed, narcissistic parents have decided that there are no longer any places that are inappropriate for them to bring their children. Even other parents can no longer enjoy a night out alone, because we are constantly barraged by other people’s poorly behaved children no matter where we go. Whether we’re talking about a baby or a toddler, a bar or a upscale restaurant is irrelevant — as is the fact that you were not kicked out of the establishment by the proprietor. Children have plenty of places to call their own, lets keep the traditionally adults-only places just that. [quote comment=”218808″]People who are peeved at kids in bars probably remember a time when there was a brighter line between where kids were allowed to be and those places off limits.I recall the first time I saw the word “pub” as a kid. It was on a sign over a door inside a new england restaurant. My parents explained to 9 yo me that kids were forbidden in there. That’s how I began to see things. There were simply places where only adults could go and that was that. In those dark oppressive times kid were instructed to show deference towards adults, address them by Mr or Mrs and NEVER by their first name. In fact the code of child etiquette was strong.Now that line is blurred if not obliterated. Hot tubs at ski resorts… Read more »
animal_lover
Member
animal_lover

I saw a dad and his three year old hanging in a cigar joint. Yes I do see it is not about the kid at all.

When I see parents pushing their kids into the street when the light is red or incessantly texting or on the phone w a young baby , I give more credit to my own parents for protecting me and providing eye to eye stimulation.

[quote comment=”218811″]Yes, this is exactly the point. There are fewer and fewer “adults only” establishments left because self-absorbed, narcissistic parents have decided that there are no longer any places that are inappropriate for them to bring their children.Even other parents can no longer enjoy a night out alone, because we are constantly barraged by other people’s poorly behaved children no matter where we go.Whether we’re talking about a baby or a toddler, a bar or a upscale restaurant is irrelevant — as is the fact that you were not kicked out of the establishment by the proprietor. Children have plenty of places to call their own, lets keep the traditionally adults-only places just that.[/quote]

Mrs. L
Member
Mrs. L

Very well said. There are no boundaries for parents anymore. I can imagine babies in strip clubs in the not too distant future.[quote comment=”218811″]Yes, this is exactly the point. There are fewer and fewer “adults only” establishments left because self-absorbed, narcissistic parents have decided that there are no longer any places that are inappropriate for them to bring their children.Even other parents can no longer enjoy a night out alone, because we are constantly barraged by other people’s poorly behaved children no matter where we go.Whether we’re talking about a baby or a toddler, a bar or a upscale restaurant is irrelevant — as is the fact that you were not kicked out of the establishment by the proprietor. Children have plenty of places to call their own, lets keep the traditionally adults-only places just that.[/quote]

xxrjxx
Member
xxrjxx

I thought we were talking about sleeping babies…and these aren’t ‘traditionally adults-only places’ we’re talking about. You’re inappropriately generalizing to every single bar/restaurant in Hoboken.[quote comment=”218811″]Yes, this is exactly the point. There are fewer and fewer “adults only” establishments left because self-absorbed, narcissistic parents have decided that there are no longer any places that are inappropriate for them to bring their children.Even other parents can no longer enjoy a night out alone, because we are constantly barraged by other people’s poorly behaved children no matter where we go.Whether we’re talking about a baby or a toddler, a bar or a upscale restaurant is irrelevant — as is the fact that you were not kicked out of the establishment by the proprietor. Children have plenty of places to call their own, lets keep the traditionally adults-only places just that.[/quote]

IAmTheLaw
Member
IAmTheLaw

No, the fact that the the babies are sleeping is only mentioned in the letter for the purpose of underscoring the egregious irresponsibility of the parents. As in, “not only are parents bringing their babies into bars, but they are doing so even when the child is asleep”.

Also, contrary to your point I clearly stated “upscale restaurant”; for example, bring your children to Grimaldi’s for a pizza party, but keep them out of The Brass Rail (upscale is relative, but for the purposes of discussion, let’s define upscale as $20 or more for an entree). When I say bars, I mean establishments where serving alcohol is the entire point of their existence, and their kitchens are simply to keep people from leaving when they get hungry (and therefore stop buying alcohol). Either someplace is a bar or not under this definition, there’s no generalization. [quote comment=”218813″]I thought we were talking about sleeping babies…and these aren’t ‘traditionally adults-only places’ we’re talking about. You’re inappropriately generalizing to every single bar/restaurant in Hoboken.[/quote]

Ventura
Member
Ventura

The only babies that are a problem are the ones on this thread complaining about this non-issue.

Merry Christmas!

CumpyCP
Member
CumpyCP

Indeed & Agreed

Merry Christmas![quote comment=”218807″]The only babies that are a problem are the ones on this thread complaining about this non-issue.Merry Christmas![/quote]

MrHightower
Member
MrHightower
I am confused as to what the actual issue is. Are the contributors actually being disturbed the families they observe or are they using this forum to make a holier than thou commentary? It seems as if the original writer, and the subsequent follow up by the editor, both are making gross overgeneralization of all parents in Hoboken. To be frank, I am taken aback by the judgments of the contributors who feel like they are in the best position to tell families how to enjoy their casual times together. According to this wisdom, families paying a premium to live in Hoboken should live the lives of recluses while those childless bar goers get to burn the bars down as they clearly see fit. Are the babies hindering the abilities of bar goers to get the digits they need to make it a successful night of making babies of their own? Or do people not in the best position of making a judgment happier critiquing the parenting skills of their neighbors from afar? Are parents in Hoboken supposed to not enjoy the dining and entertainment options in the town they call home, instead opting to leave it to those parentless masses that (ALERT! gross generalizations) get plastered and cause the litany of other issues I see complained about on this site (late night noise, drunken fights, discourteous cab riders, inconsiderate garbage disposal, etc.?) I would normally not take the time to write but the judgments made in the original posting… Read more »
wpDiscuz