Reader Mail: Intervention?
21
May
And no, not like that A&E show Intervention.
We’re talking about if you witness an assault or domestic violence incident, what would you do? I know it should be human nature to help each other out, but in some instances it could be very hazardous, especially with crazed lunatics who may be armed and injure more people. I can understand stepping in for a loved one, but often times when it’s complete strangers, people can often feel powerless. It’s not that often something brutal happens in your presence, and it’s hard to be prepared.
This 411 reader writes in:
“Today I witnessed a boyfriend in his mid-20’s violently beating his girlfriend. It was crowded on the street and no one stepped in, including myself (that guy would have killed us both). I didn’t have my cell, but if I did I was would have called 911. The cops finally got there (I am guessing a neighbor called 911), and the girl escaped. But in an after thought, I was thinking, what if I yelled to him to stop it and he pulled a gun ( I know big imagination), but what if? Then it got me thinking how many others out there would step in when seeing something this? What do you think, do you think people would get involved? I feel terrible I couldn’t do anything to help that girl.”
Would you volunteer yourself to participate in an unpredictable situation like that?
[rockyou 69389460]
May 21st 2007 - 12:51:58 |
I would immediately contact police, and let the attacker know that I will not allow it to continue. I can’t believe on a crowded street no one stepped in. Where did this happen? I hope it wasn’t Hoboken.
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May 21st 2007 - 13:23:37 |
hob411, my compliments on posting that video that so well illustrates what’s called the “cycle of violence”.
This is a complicated issue, in my view the best route a witness can take is scream (that may scare off the attacker) and call police immediately! If you know the victim, offer support, not judgement.
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May 21st 2007 - 14:40:17 |
I know I would do something, what depends on the risks.
For example many years ago at NJ Gay Pride in Asbury Park, a very drunk and stereotypically dressed young man was accosted by a group of local youths. I started to pay attention, when they threw a bottle at him, I ran off to find a pay phone to call the cops. When I could not find a payphone that worked, I looked for an event organizer. When I could not spot one of them I walked up to the stage told the comic performing I needed an event organizer. That got me person with a walkie talkie, it also got me teased on mic in front of large audience. I could have made myself look better and told the comic why I needed an event organizer, and got a few hundred people gunning for some bigoted local teens. I then rejoined my friends that had stayed near the incident in case things exploded and wait for the cops to come.
Of course when I start off to find the phone my friends thought I was going to be stupid and play hero… if it had been just one kid, sure, a gang of dozen or more, no way.
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May 21st 2007 - 14:46:31 |
Don’t intervene in domestic disputes. The victim is just as likely to kick you in the teeth as the aggressor, and the violence can get way out of hand when people aren’t thinking straight.
Keep the Hoboken PD number in your cell and call them to sort it out. I’ve had to do this once, when this couple were rolling around in Pier A park. Cops showed up in less than 5 minutes and got it sorted out.
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May 21st 2007 - 15:18:02 |
A few years ago, I was walking down 1st to the PATH, and I noticed a guy who looked homeless yelling things in Spanish at what looked like a typical commuter. The only thing I understood was “Loco.” Next thing i know, the “homeless guy” is throwing haymakers at the “commuter.” I dropped my bag and ran up, as did another guy running down Washington, and we seperated the two. (I happened to grab the homeless guy, so I had a certain smell about me I had to explain at work.) The point is, I was 27 and fairly athletic, so it wasn’t a big deal for me, but a whole bunch of people just watched… Do something, yell, call the cops or anything, but if you want Hoboken to be a nice place, as most people on this site do, you can’t wait for the light and then run with your head down.
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May 21st 2007 - 16:06:53 |
This is a difficult one, but the priority is to call the cops.
You really shouldn’t do this, but if you’re crazy enough, and only if you’re capable, as well as imminent danger befalls the victim to such a degree of severity, get in the guy’s face and belittle the pajeevahs out of him for hitting a woman. Don’t hit him, just get in his way – allowing the woman to escape (bystanders should get the hint and help her getaway). IF he tries to hit you, then you’re within your right to, uh, “defend” yourself at a degree you fear for your life
Again, you really shouldn’t do what I just stated above. But some of us out there are crazy enough.
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May 21st 2007 - 16:44:13 |
What’s really sad is that sometimes the victim is so browbeaten that she (sometimes it’s a he) will side with the abuser should someone intervene. Also, she may fear that it will be worse once she is home. That said, I don’t condone standing around and doing nothing. I agree with those who say call 911. Sometimes when the police show up they can convince the victim to pack her things and be taken to a shelter.
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May 21st 2007 - 16:48:37 |
A little advise think twice before getting involved in a domestic dispute ,physicaly, call 911 as much as you might want to get involved police officers will tell you they hate this type of dispute. They ,both parties involved can turn on you in a heartbeat. Over easter I was in charlotte when 2 police officers were killed responding to “a simple domestic dispute” these get crazy very fast.
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May 21st 2007 - 16:56:24 |
But on the other hand maybe she has a relative that will deliver tony soprano type beating on his sorry ass. I know for sure he would get a visit from me.
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May 21st 2007 - 17:32:16 |
I defintely say get involved, somehow. I saw this guy starting to beat his girlfriend right in midtown, on Wahshington Street. I didn’t really have time to make a phone call but I sort of just acted as if I could help, as if, their might be a problem? Believe it or not, the girl, as well as the guy, was telling me to stay out of it, but I couldn’t. My sense of urgency took over and I would not let him hit her. Of course, call 911, if you can. Damn, what did we do before cell phones? Demand presence. Ask anyone walking by to STOP, and HELP. I’m always amazed at what other people will do if you tell them to do it with authority.
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May 21st 2007 - 19:47:14 |
Beejay wrote:
Yes, this did happen in Hoboken during daylight at 5:30pm on a warm Spring day right across from CC park.
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May 23rd 2007 - 05:11:06 |
As I’ve said on here before, if you call 911 from a cell phone, it gets routed to the Hudson County 911 central call center in Jersey City. The operator then has to figure out what the emergency is and what town you’re located in, then route the call to the correct police department.
The best thing to do is call 420-2100, which is the direct line to the Hoboken police department.
It is substantially quicker than 911.
For example, if you call 911 and say you’re at the corner of 14th & Washington or 2nd & Hudson and get disconnected, there no way for them to tell if you’re in Hoboken or at the same named corner in Jersey City (those corners exist in JC as well).
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May 27th 2007 - 15:23:52 |
The only time I will get involved because I cannot keep my mouth shut and cannot help myself is when kids are involved. If I spot a parent or caregiver mistreating a child I will become slightly possessed.
Other than that as a 4′11″ woman who usually has one of the hated double strollers and two kids with her there isn’t much I’m gonna toss myself in the way of.
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May 28th 2007 - 09:37:15 |
It’s common for people to ignore thses types of situations. There was a woman in NYC, I believe her name was Kitty Davidson. She was brutally murdered in the middle of the afternoon in front of her apt builiding. It was many years ago. All of her neighbors reported hearing her screams for help yet, no one did anything or called the police. You may have also heard on the news the 90 year old man who was carjacked either last week or the week before. The tapes from the convience store or gas station that incident occured at showed people on the other side of the car just watching. These people had nothing to do with the car jacking they were just bystanders.
I don’t know why people stay away from these situations maybe we are just scared. It may not be the right reaction but, I think its our natural instinct to hide from danger. Most of us have to will ourselves to jump in and get involved with a strangers life. I’m not making excuses or saying it’s the right reaction. it’s just the normal reaction for most people.
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May 28th 2007 - 13:20:32 |
Her name was Kitty Genovese. It’s not necessarily common for people to sit on the sidelines, but it does have a classification: ‘the bystander effect’
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect
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May 28th 2007 - 16:36:49 |
emarche wrote:
The ‘the bystander effect’ is closely related to ‘the campos effect’ which is essentially the same, except the person shouts a lot, talks over other people and out of turn, almost doubles his weight in six years, and otherwise accomplishes nothing. Oh yeah, also – when the cops show up, he flashes his Hoboken Council President badge.
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