Resolutions in Hoboken?

12/31/2010:

[This post is part of the “A Love Affair with Hoboken” series written by resident Lara Kaplan Hanson…]

Resolutions for 2011

By Lara Kaplan Hanson

How many people actually do New Year’s resolutions? I remember working on my resolutions in college and getting into a big argument with my good friend, Tom. “Why do you need to make resolutions?” he exclaimed irritated. “I don’t need to, I only want to improve myself,” I defended. “Why can’t you just be happy with who you are?”

“I AM HAPPY with who I am, but I can always be better!!! If I settle for the person I am today, than in fifty years I will still be the same person, and the years will have been pointless. In that case, I could just kill myself today!!!!” Like a young kid poking a stick through the lion’s cage, I enjoyed stirring the pot with my republican friend and foe.

Resolutions through the years

My early resolutions, in middle school and high school, were vague: “get better grades, improve my shooting percentage on the basketball court, and write more.” Unlike a historian, I look back at the breadcrumbs in my life for laughter not explanation. It’s amusing to occasionally pause and reflect how one’s life has transpired.

In college, my resolutions matured when an assistant basketball coach added a twist. Instead of nondescript items, she wanted our resolutions broken out into categories: basketball and personal, then three ways we would accomplish each goal. The resolutions went from “improve shooting” to “my shooting will improve because I will take an additional 1000 shots a day, raise my bench max by 15 pounds, and cut my mile time by 30 seconds.” She was ingenious. It wasn’t just about goals, she was giving us a recipe for how to achieve them.

Post college I kept the same strategy, but the categories evolved into: intellectual, physical, and spiritual. Don’t worry, I’ll save you the mundane laundry list of this year’s resolutions, and rather include two centered around Hoboken…

Two Hoboken Resolutions coming right up!

First Hoboken resolution: try a new bar, restaurant, or store every week. With 4 weeks in a month and 12 months in a year, that will give me a little less than 50 attempts in town to discover more local flavor. The second resolution is a bit more complex, but here it goes…

Did you know Hoboken was voted the number one town in the country for singles who are thirty? My married friends, Dan and Sharon, encouragingly pointed this out as a new single in town. At the time, I was 27, just out of a LONG relationship, and dismissed their point. I didn’t want a boyfriend, but instead invested all my time in traveling.

Well, guess who is single and almost thirty now? Yup, I said it. Me!!!

See the rest of her almost-30 adventures after the jump…

Give love a chance (again)

I know a modern girl is never supposed to admit either, but to hell with convention. I’m not letting any ridiculous old cliches put me out to pasture!!! All that said, I am reinstating dating, and giving love a chance. Yes, you read correctly, I used that word girls in a post-feminist society aren’t supposed to want or say aloud: LOVE. While, I’m not sure if I believe in love (as I always equated it to the likes of Santa Claus), I figure it can’t hurt to test the charade. My friend Justin and I had this great conversation at McMahon’s one night about how 99% of the world is un-dateable, and while I agree with him – I figure why not give hope to that 1% chance.

My spiritual life counsel and good friend, Paige, says me “you get back what you put out into the world” – and in the realm of love I rarely crack the door. The baggage of a divorced family set an early reality check, and my last relationship only compounded the point. However, I hate excuses for failure, hence I am resolving to put away the crutches, and test the singles market in Hoboken. Logically, I can’t help but predict failure given the dating horror stories that flood the urban world, but I am attempting to manifest into someone a bit more open minded. Giving nod to my coach’s methods I have:

  1. signed up for online dating site (yes, I’m admitting it – but not telling you which one…lol)
  2. going to try and find a speed dating event (this sounds hysterical)
  3. will attempt a singles social mixture in town (sounds slightly promising)

While all three of these ideas make my stomach turn and give me anxiety, I figure there is not much to lose besides my dignity. (Not that I ever held this in great esteem to begin with. But, before I begin this journey of the great dating abyss, I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. Good luck to everyone with your resolutions. May you stick with them longer than a week, and I’ll be sure to keep you posted on the dating scene in Hoboken.)

I’m going to do some research about what restaurants to try out in Hoboken. If you have any suggestions about restaurants/bars and what dishes are best – let me know!!!

Thanks for reading, Happy Holidays & Stay Warm!!!

Leave a Reply

17 Comments on "Resolutions in Hoboken?"

kooky kat
Member

99% of the population is undateable? Who knew.

Maybe you and your friend Justin should get together since you are the only 2 people on the planet who are good enough to date!! 🙄

homeworld
Member

I have an idea. Let me write for a Hoboken blog and start by alienating a good portion of my readers right off-the-bat.

I’ll make grand statement for you: 99% of bloggers are arrogant self-absorbed conceited people that think they’re better than everyone else. I’m looking to read that other 1%.[quote comment=”201632″]99% of the population is undateable? Who knew. Maybe you and your friend Justin should get together since you are the only 2 people on the planet who are good enough to date!! [/quote]

jonnyc
Member
jonnyc

Wow, did you guys get this upset when Jerry Seinfeld used that line? Sensitive bunch.[quote comment=”201654″]I have an idea. Let me write for a Hoboken blog and start by alienating a good portion of my readers right off-the-bat. I’ll make grand statement for you: 99% of bloggers are arrogant self-absorbed conceited people that think they’re better than everyone else. I’m looking to read that other 1%.[/quote]

kooky kat
Member

That makes it much better, stealing material from a 90’s sitcom.

[quote comment=”201657″]Wow, did you guys get this upset when Jerry Seinfeld used that line? Sensitive bunch.[/quote]

HoneyDew
Member
HoneyDew

Agreed. No wonder she’s single. Would you want to date her?[quote comment=”201632″]99% of the population is undateable? Who knew. Maybe you and your friend Justin should get together since you are the only 2 people on the planet who are good enough to date!! [/quote]

Hobokant
Member
Hobokant

i’m still trying to figure out who’d want to read her?

how does her hoboken ‘experience’ differ than the thousands of other 20 somethings in this town?[quote comment=”201639″]Agreed. No wonder she’s single. Would you want to date her?

[/quote]

Journey
Member
Journey

I hadn’t played D&D since the 80’s either, but I had some post college friends that like White Wolf Games, but didn’t think anyone would get the reference.

Journey
Member
Journey
I met my husband on an online site. I first hunted for site that would allow me to be as honest about myself right from the start. Finding a site that let me list my religion as Wicca, not as “Other” was a challenge. My husband found me and knew up front many of my character traits, and saw strengths where past partners saw weaknesses. Everyone that saw my profile knew my religion, that I had two cats, that I was learning Welsh, liked sci-fi, and that I knew what RPG, pkill, frag, D&D meant (I’m a woman that likes Dungeons and Dragons and find playing a some violent first person shoters a good stress reliever. I might have even fessed up to being a poor cook. I was contacted by some less than interesting individuals and immediately trashed their emails. My husband sent me nice email that started a conversation and his profile showed me how creative and talented he was (pictures of himself were taken in the style of famous pieces of art with a little photoshop to add his face to famous scene, etc). He has told me that in me he found someone that more than just laughs at his jokes but actually gets them (most of the time). We had all the common interests to become great friends, and well when we met the right chemistry to be more than friends. I could never have been as revealing about my interests in a bar, well… Read more »
YipYap
Member
Did you say Dungeons and Dragons? Llast time I played that game back in 1984 I was an 11th level Cleric and a 6th Paladin. I should have been higher, however I died a couple of times and was brought back and then lost ten thousand experience points to the Deck of Many Things. Then I grew a set of nuts and started chasing chicks. There are loads of D&D Players real great catches out there, here is a samples of just a few right around here. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7521044027821122670#%5Bquote comment=”201604″]I met my husband on an online site. I first hunted for site that would allow me to be as honest about myself right from the start. Finding a site that let me list my religion as Wicca, not as “Other” was a challenge. My husband found me and knew up front many of my character traits, and saw strengths where past partners saw weaknesses.Everyone that saw my profile knew my religion, that I had two cats, that I was learning Welsh, liked sci-fi, and that I knew what RPG, pkill, frag, D&D meant (I’m a woman that likes Dungeons and Dragons and find playing a some violent first person shoters a good stress reliever. I might have even fessed up to being a poor cook. I was contacted by some less than interesting individuals and immediately trashed their emails. My husband sent me nice email that started a conversation and his profile showed me how creative and talented he was (pictures… Read more »
Dperez
Member
Dperez

Laura,
Focus on something else: not finding a relationship through speed dating etc. Men can smell desperation from a mile away. The only types of men you may encounter on your three methods are either social outcasts or deviates (yes, there are a few exceptions, but I emphasize on the words A FEW).

Find a hobby or a new interest (the gym, chess, etc). This is the best way to find someone. Love just happens naturally, which is the way it is supposed to happen. Don’t resort to cheesy tactics. Good luck and have a great 2011! 😀

tburns
Member

Best wishes, Lara, in the new year. Your resolutions sound admirable and fun, and if your intentions are to get to know Hoboken better and meet a wider range of men to date, all is good. Please ignore the desperation remark. Simply hoping that you will stumble upon the “right one” without putting yourself in the right places to meet him, is like hoping to lose weight by watching Abcoaster ads on TV: it ain’t gonna happen. As my drill sergeant used to say, “no pain, no gain.” You have to get out of your comfort zone to live a little.
Keep us posted. Everyone loves a love story.

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