Domestic Violence: What to do?

5/6/2010:

Love stinks, yeah yeah!

One of the more frequent calls overheard on the Hoboken411 Live Police and Fire Action Channel – are for domestic violence. Whether it’s your regular boyfriend / girlfriend (or husband and wife) domestic disputes, to drunken incidents with crazy ex’s and restraining orders – there’s always trouble in paradise to some degree. Quite a few disputes are also between family members, parents, nutty teenagers and the like.

Hoboken411 reader Darren, who recently moved to town, isn’t used to hearing incidents of this nature and wonders what protocol is.

When to get involved, and how?

“My fiancée and I moved to Hoboken in late 2008 and we’re renting in a newer large condo building. Our neighbors are young professionals and families with young kids. We’re on the third floor, with places above and below, and on both sides. It’s actually not so loud, though I know that the walls are pretty thin because I can hear the dog next door that barks sometimes, and a loud weekend party upstairs, etc.

A few months ago, though, new neighbors started making these walls feel way too thin. We began hearing fights next door, usually late at night when we are about to go to sleep. The voices have been muffled, but we can tell that they are fighting, and sometimes it sounds like furniture is being shoved or maybe things are getting thrown around or broken. In my opinion, that’s their own business. My fiancée, though, got worried last night (apparently it was worse than usual). She woke me up and wanted to call the cops, and plans to next time she hears a similar disturbance. Personally, I don’t want to get involved.

We moved from the suburbs of D.C. where our neighbors were also young professionals and families, but we weren’t really stacked together in such close quarters. It’s possible there were incidents like this we just didn’t hear. My question is: is this issue just a normal part of Hoboken city living that we didn’t experience previously? Has anyone else experienced this type of thing? And, if so, should we ignore it or intervene by reporting it to the police?”

What do you do when you notice possible acts of violence?

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16 Comments on "Domestic Violence: What to do?"

charliebuggy88
Member
charliebuggy88
I’m not sure this is the place to comment but it’s the closest post I could find that relates to the topic. Last night I saw the most disturbing incident on Washington, which began at a local eatery. Apparently a woman caught her husband/boyfriend cheating on her. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and at one point hit the man over the head with her cell phone. It was after several minutes of back and forth yelling and fighting that I realized there was a young child involved. I am heartbroken for this child b/c it was her parents who were acting like complete and total idiots. I don’t know the entire situation, only what I saw. I am sure that the family involved is going through immense pain right now and the poor child will indeed be scarred forever by her parent’s actions. I understand that the mother was upset and rightfully so but to say and do the things she did in front of her child was disgraceful. There are no words for the man involved… My point to the entire story is that two gentleman followed the family at a safe distance the entire time making sure the situation did not completely escalate. THEY DID CALL THE COPS…as they should have. To the two men in red shirts…if you ever read this, I commend you. It felt as if the city of Hoboken and all the people stopped dead in their tracks. You could… Read more »
filthyHOBO
Member
filthyHOBO

I’ve called the police when a neighbor was beating up his girlfriend. They took him away, obviously to jail. A week or so later, I saw them “lovey dovey” in the hall. It didnt take long before they were fighting again.
If the victim refuses to get out, why am I responsible to keep calling the police and putting an end to it. They eventually moved…hopefully she got out

macncheese
Member
macncheese

Call the POLICE absolutely! If it happened once and it was just a shouting match that may be different but this has happened several times and you think you hear furniture? CALL the POLICE! Keep calling them. If they are renters the landlord will have to get involved. You don’t have to give your name to the police but keep calling don’t give up. You could save someone’s life…

NJPoliticalMerc
Member
NJPoliticalMerc

I was in a friends home when I was in freshman year of high school. His mom and step dad whent at it. We heard her get hit and we called the cops. The cops came and removed him from the house. She of course dropped the charges later. I was told later by another officer that I could have pressed the charges because I was the one who called 911. I haven’t had to try this course of action but anyone else that finds themselves in this kind of situation, where they witness the abuse. It might just save someones life.

Easy-E
Member

I learned the hard way that people who are stuck in abusive relationships are liable to turn on you if you interfere.

Better off just calling the cops anonymously because the kind of crazy that makes someone abuse someone else or the flip side, put up with it, isn’t the kind of crazy you want focused on you personally.

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