Funny: A-Hole Foods Market

(recovered draft)

12/31/2008:

New Years Eve Funny Parody!

I know many folks who absolutely love Whole Foods Market (our closest one is over in Edgewater, NJ).

However, there are probably the same number of people (or more) who think they’re ridiculously over-priced. This post is for you guys!

I found this great parody of what a Whole Foods Market ad really means… titled “A-Hole Foods Market.”

Hope you enjoy it (click image to see the entire document – I happen to particularly enjoy the asparagus “discount” – cracks me up!)

ahole-foods-market-parody-sm.jpg

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8 Comments on "Funny: A-Hole Foods Market"

superoogie
Member
superoogie

Hey 411, if you are going to swipe things from Mad Magazine, the least you can do is give them a credit.

jscirish27
Member
jscirish27

Bmacqueens, anyone who has read any of my food-related posts knows I am a huge believer in local, seasonal, and organic and I agree with you 100% that you can taste the difference. This is for a variety of reasons, but one of the biggest is that whereas petrochemical fertilizer deprives the soil of nutirents, organic methods and compost enrich the soil and the vegetables. As far as beef goes, grass-fed is the best option. Cows are ruminants and meant to eat grass, not corn. Corn actually makes them sick. Most people probably don’t know that factory feedlots are the largest consumers of antibiotics in the nation, hence the reason many strains of bacteria are becoming resistant to antibiotics.

My biggest problem with Whole Foods is not the quality, which I think is overall quite good, but the distance the food travels. They carry very little local food, even when in season, and that is one of the reasons that prices are so high. I try instead to hit farmers markets whenever I can, and support the smaller local specialty stores (like Sobsey’s and Truglio’s). It does make me feel good to see so many people taking interest in the origins and production of their food these days; I think it is one of the most important things we can do.

mooshu
Member
mooshu
[quote comment=”124869″]I like a lot of things about Whole Foods, just about anything but their prices. The meat can be fantastic, methinks. I grew up on standard American fare. Cheese was orange. Bread was white. Meat was copious and we used margarine because it was better for you. Who knew? But over the years, I’ve learned to love slow food, food from scratch, organic food. If the critter from which you obtain your meat must be jacked full of antibiotics just to not get sick and die before being brought to slaughter then you probably don’t want to be eating it, no? Even 5,000 years ago, Moses and his secretary knew best when they wrote down the law. Loosely translated: “Hey you putz, don’t eat the friggin’ downers. Only the healthy ones!” I can very much taste the difference in the meat as well, but I cannot determine whether that is because it was raised without the antibiotics, growth hormones, etc., or because they had a better diet as well. I suspect a little of both? I have found as well that organic veggies taste a zillion times better than conventional. It’s kind of like wine grapes … if the growing is too easy then there tends to be very little flavor. By contrast, the organic stuff tends to have a lot more flavor. So what’s not to like? Whole Foods’ sausages. Health nuts and hippies may know a lot about raising a yummy lamb chop, but they don’t know… Read more »
mooshu
Member
mooshu

Screw this A-Hole. I got to Trader Joe’s! :mrgreen:

bmacqueens
Member
I like a lot of things about Whole Foods, just about anything but their prices. The meat can be fantastic, methinks. I grew up on standard American fare. Cheese was orange. Bread was white. Meat was copious and we used margarine because it was better for you. Who knew? But over the years, I’ve learned to love slow food, food from scratch, organic food. If the critter from which you obtain your meat must be jacked full of antibiotics just to not get sick and die before being brought to slaughter then you probably don’t want to be eating it, no? Even 5,000 years ago, Moses and his secretary knew best when they wrote down the law. Loosely translated: “Hey you putz, don’t eat the friggin’ downers. Only the healthy ones!” I can very much taste the difference in the meat as well, but I cannot determine whether that is because it was raised without the antibiotics, growth hormones, etc., or because they had a better diet as well. I suspect a little of both? I have found as well that organic veggies taste a zillion times better than conventional. It’s kind of like wine grapes … if the growing is too easy then there tends to be very little flavor. By contrast, the organic stuff tends to have a lot more flavor. So what’s not to like? Whole Foods’ sausages. Health nuts and hippies may know a lot about raising a yummy lamb chop, but they don’t know squat… Read more »
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