Roberts’ Fiscal Follies

8/6/2008:

A parody from an anonymous Hoboken411 reader:

dave-roberts-sound-of-music-fiscal-follies.jpg

The Gayest, Baddest Musical in Town!

(Be sure to listen to this instrumental to help you sing along!)

Ladies and Gentleman, The City of Hoboken Proudly Presents “Roberts’ Fiscal Follies,” The Gayest, Baddest Musical in Town. (Note: by gay I mean happy even in the face of national humiliation and fiscal ruin)

As sung by Nathan Lane playing Mayor David Roberts to the tune of “My favorite things”:

hoboken-musical-notes.gifWith bad fiscal planning and budget numbers bull-shitten,
With high rise developers it’s true I am smitten,
Municipal budget put together with smoke, mirrors and strings,
these are a few of my favorite things.

White wine spritzers and Amanda’s apple strudels,
Ribbon cutting ceremonies enjoyed by the oodles.
Maxwell geese that crap on Reformers flung from their wings.
these are a few of my favorite things.

With numerous Captains both fire and police,
Tax paying yuppies that I like to fleece,
Patronage Mill handouts and the City Council in hamstrings,
these are a few of my favorite things.

When the Council votes, when the public slings,
when I’m feeling sad,
I simply retreat to Mantoloking,
and then I don’t feel so bad.

Corzine won’t hurt me and that’s quite predictable,
With allies like Doria that some find quite despicable,
Young buff firemen parading about with hoses sprinkling,
these are a few of my favorite things.

With the budget mess revealed I am done with confiding,
Sybill’s cave being renovated and suitable for hiding,
Cops that won’t patrol, fattening up on doughnuts and wings,
these are a few of my favorite things.

With Public housing given out at my discretion,
And pointing the finger at the Council enabling deflection,
Spending City money renovating asbestos springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.

When the Council votes, when the public slings,
when I’m feeling sad,
I simply retreat to Mantoloking,
and then I don’t feel so bad.

Leave a Reply

14 Comments on "Roberts’ Fiscal Follies"

truth1
Member
truth1

The Mayor’s watch has been a total ‘tap dance’.

Reformerus_Gianticus
Member
Reformerus_Gianticus

[quote comment=”97933″]When does the tax re-assessment take place Quimby has been fighting???

Chop!Chop!
:mrgreen:[/quote]

Never. Quimby does not want/want the following:

1) A City Council with any authority to vote down his crack pot budgeting schemes.
2) He does not want a reass. as it will cost him dearly with all his properties and kill him politically.
3) He does not want an open audit of the City fire and police. That is why the state is here to cover up the shit.
4) He does not want fiscal pay as you go restraint.
5) He wants to bond Hoboken out for 30 years.
6) He does not want the head of the HUMC to leave until after the election because that’s when the fit will hit the sham.
7) He does want PILOTS so that current residents pay more than their fair share in taxes and developers get theirs.

And above all he doesn’t want you or any other citizens or City Council to know what goes on behind closed doors (like ladies and gentleman).

Reformerus_Gianticus
Member
Reformerus_Gianticus

[quote comment=”97925″]OK, Reformerus_Gianticus. Let’s get you going here. Recall that you issued a challenge to Mr. Frank & Beans (singing dancing guy) in a sing off dance off.

I’m casting my vote that you perform these wonderful piece in front of City Hall. Maybe even Pier A. What say you?[/quote]

The dance off is comming soon but
1) I am an underdog and need to train. I said this before but dancing talent like his comes by but once in a generation. I am ok at cutting the rug but this kid is good. I would like it to at least be a competition.
2) It’s too hot right now. Big guys like me sweat like crazy in this heat. Think September /October time frame.
3) If I come out and reveal my identity (actually a lot in City Hall already know) Sybill’s Cave is not complete and I will have nowhere to really hide. The Batman slot has already been filled.
4) Not sure if this song would work but I am considering Papa Don’t Preach by Madonna, a favorite of Frank’s and Beans or I wish I was a little taller by Skee-Lo.
5) Given the tradgedy of the death of this guy’s mother it may make some sense to parlay this into some kind of fundraiser if that is possible. I’m serious about this item.
6) Pier A is good, 14th Street is good too. Gives him home court advantage.

honcho
Member
honcho

When does the tax re-assessment take place Quimby has been fighting???

Chop!Chop!
:mrgreen:

MidnightRacer
Member

OK, Reformerus_Gianticus. Let’s get you going here. Recall that you issued a challenge to Mr. Frank & Beans (singing dancing guy) in a sing off dance off.

I’m casting my vote that you perform these wonderful piece in front of City Hall. Maybe even Pier A. What say you?

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