How to drink without the horrific hangover
How to drink without the horrific hangover
With the weekend almost upon us all, here’s a simple recipe on how you can drink (for instance) two bottles of wine in a night – without any noticeable repercussions.
Say your plan is to down a 1.5L bottle of wine (or two regular 750ml bottles). An easy way to do it without any issues is as follows:
- Before you open the wine – drink about 12oz of water.
- Then, grab a big cup (a 32 oz cup is preferred).
- Get a measuring cup. Fill it with 8oz of wine (a little less than a third of a bottle). Proceed to add 16oz of water. (Wine enthusiasts are cringing). Ice optional (preferred by us). Get a big straw and enjoy your drink.
(Note you can do it other ways – like without a straw or ice or massive jugs of liquid, just follow similar ratios…)
Tally so far: 8oz of wine – 28 oz water (12 before – 16 in each drink).
Multiply this by 6 (rounding down for simplicity):
48oz of wine – 168oz of water.
Add as much water at the end of the night as you can stomach (20+ ounces is a good guideline). You’ve effectively kept your alcohol to water ratio at close to 1:4.
Why do you think this works?
Well, we’ve “experimented” a lot with consuming wine, etc. And a few key points that have correlated with both good and bad experiences have led us to believe the following:
- “Straight up” drinking is risky. One, it brings the “buzz” as well as the lack of good judgment upon you much quicker. Two, we’re convinced the “strength” of the alcohol entering your body (and liver) plays a role in how the body detoxifies. (see next)
- If I consumed 1.5L of wine (straight) and then attempted to drink well over a gallon of water afterward – that will not happen. I’d be lucky to get half a gallon in. That causes problems which you might be able to imagine. Introducing water as you drink is better for the bladder.
- The “impact” of “full octane” booze has to “hurt” your liver, kidneys and more much differently than a “watered down” version of it. We can attest to that – even with similar post-drinking hydration. Just not the same benefit.
- It also depends on timing. There still is some limitation on your speed. Even with dilution. The body needs time to process, even in a lesser-strength format. So a reasonable pace should still be adhered to. That is the benefit of extra hydration and larger vessel diluted drinks. You get to “enjoy” the act of imbibing longer. You just need to adjust your expectations of how you’re used to “sipping” your drink of choice. Note: There is no general guideline here – it depends on your body and metabolism, as well as overall health.
- I cannot say how this applies to other drinks, such as highballs of liquor – or 12 packs of beer. We don’t really do the whiskey type drinks – so no opinion. But it’s a lot harder with beer. Because you’ll be pissing like a racehorse, and become more bloated than Oprah on a Presidential campaign. Hence, why this was drafted particularly for wine lovers.
If you must drink – but better off not to!
In the end – it’s probably best to never drink alcohol whatsoever. The benefits are minimal compared to the detriments. Seriously – so don’t take this as a testimonial for consumption. Just some “notes from the field.”
But some people do benefit – whether it’s personal confidence, or creative inspiration – alcohol certainly has plenty of memes you can summon to back your cause.
It has been “proven” that alcohol is powerfully addictive. And has been the seed of contention in society for longer than all of you have been alive. But it’s here to stay – and we have to manage one way or another (here or there).
If you’re hell-bent on catching a buzz for whatever reason – and how deep you feel like going – my guidelines above have worked quite well.
Remember – it’s not just the concept of hydration (i.e., “a glass or two of water before bed”), it’s almost a full-time job while in the act of consuming.
Try it, and see if it works for you!
Footnote: One last thing. Despite our analysis – we do feel strongly, that even with dilution and hydration – each human body has a pretty fair limit on what their internal organs can process in a given time period. Our fantastic model above will not allow people to drink 24 hours a day every day. You’ll DIE if that happens. So as your booze consumption goes up – your risk at damaging your health (at worse) or feeling like utter garbage the next time you wake up just goes up exponentially.
Footnote 2: Some have said “energy drinks” or eating help them. I don’t buy it. It just creates added stress and complexity to your system – impeding full recovery, delaying the detoxification process. A quality multivitamin (not Centrum), could help – provided it’s not exactly before bed.
Footnote 3: This is an alternative, updated version to our previously published “Six One” alcohol consuption plan.
Footnote 4: Another major key is “quality” of wine. Based on personal experience – “El Cheapo” wine usually results in HELL. So does alcohol content. Oddly, the lower the percentage – the worse you feel! While personal experimentation is still key – keep these points in mind!