Distractions or Diversions?
Think: Distractions or Diversions?
Here’s a little food for thought for all of you – all shapes and sizes. It applies to those in relationships or not.
Think about the things you do. Just for a minute or two.
HOW many of those things are relative to your relationship situation?
If single, do you spend a lot of extra time at the gym or in social situations like bars and clubs?
If in a healthy relationship, how much of that do you do? Probably not as much (unless you do it together).
What about a bad relationship? I can bet that you’re doing A LOT more “extracurricular” activity (alone) than people in happy relationships. Projects, workouts, etc. Even “scoping” the scene out. That’s what people do.
I can see some non-commital relationships going through this phase before the inevitable “breakup,” but what about other, more complicated situations?
Like a couple with a child?
You can’t just “run away,” (married or not). Just not possible.
That is why sane individuals “fill the void” of their miserable time with more productive (or distracting) activities! Even in healthy relationships – “alone time” is a must for them to remain healthy.
Are diversions and distractions healthy or destructive?
We’ve all been in unhealthy relationships. Some more complicated than others.
Many are simple and easy to break off (sans psychopathic tendencies).
However, others are not so easy to sever ties with. Marriage is one wrench in the cog – and a child is a bigger, more important wrench in the cog.
So what to do?
The reason I bring this up is – that 9 out of 10 times, it’s one single spouse that is the root of the issue. And for those nine times, the “victim” or “suffering” spouse usually tries a line of defense first, before taking definitive action.
That usually means distractions and diversions.
The victimized spouse may tend to start up new (time consuming) projects that divert time away from their abusive and destructive spouse (works for both males and females).
Those aren’t bad per se, especially if they involve skill or building something of tangible value. But they’re still being used as a way to avoid conflict.
Or, they may engage in unhealthy “distractions.”
Thos types of distractions, in my opinion – are narcissistic ways to distance yourself. They could be movies, TV – or shopping trips for useless superficial goods. Just another way to kick the can down the road away from honest relationship enlightenment.
Do any of these points ring true to you?