“Big Purchases” ROI BS!
Liberal websites push bullshit “big purchases” Return on Investment
Some crap-tastic website called “Mental Floss” recently published a “click-bait” list of “How Long It Takes 11 Big Purchases to Pay for Themselves…”
Let’s analyze their “11 big purchases” one by one…
How Long It Takes 11 Big Purchases to Pay for Themselves (yeah, right!)
Big purchases aren’t always something to feel guilty about. After a few decades, years, or even months, there are plenty of items that will begin to pay for themselves and then some. Here’s when to expect to see a return on 11 major investments.
1. TUXEDO // 3 TO 4 WEARS
Hoboken411 Take: Don’t do it. Tuxedo events are not as frequent as you might suspect. And your weight may fluctuate, adding additional expense. Our advice? Try to dress as CASUAL as possible for all events you choose to attend. If people “shun” you for showing up in flip flops and a tank top? Fuck them.
2. HYBRID CAR // 1-11 YEARS
Hoboken411 Take: WARNING SIGN NUMBER ONE – the “1-11 years” bullshit. That is enough to send me the other way. But really – your “hybrid” car is not only more expensive to YOU, it’s also more TOXIC to the environment. If you “bought the hype” for this fake environmental scare – then you should just move directly into a FEMA coffin and just bury yourself now. You’re toast. Mentally, at least!”
See this video for more:
3. COFFEE MAKER // 2 MONTHS
Hoboken411 Take: Wow. This has “some” merit. But not much. They were obviously paid off by coffee-makers everywhere! Best bet to save the MOST is to GET USED TO INSTANT COFFEE like Folgers. You’ll save 10x more than buying your own stupid-ass machine. You won’t know the difference after one WEEK on instant coffee. I promise.
4. COLLEGE EDUCATION // 20 YEARS
Hoboken411 Take: 100% complete and utter BULLSHIT. Fuck college. Their statistics are NOT true. LEARN A TRADE. Get good at it. Practice often, and get even better. Most college graduates these days are “tweeting” that they can’t find a decent job. Screw these propaganda-peddlers!
5. SOLAR PANELS // 7-20 YEARS
Hoboken411 Take: I was on the fence – up until this post. The minute they drag solar energy into an article – it’s GAME OVER. This ENTIRE piece is crap. Fuck those solar panels. Most you can’t just “use for yourself,” but rather have to “tap into the grid,” and just get “credits” for. Who truly audits that? No one. DO NOT BELIEVE THE SOLAR HYPE. (Unless you live on the surface of the sun.)
6. REFRIGERATOR // 5-25 YEARS
“The electricity guzzled by your refrigerator accounts for a huge chunk of your energy bill each month, and the situation is made even worse by old, inefficient models. According to Energy Star’s Refrigerator Retirement Savings Calculator, if you’re still using a fridge from the ‘90s, you could save $250 to $490 over 5 years by switching to a more efficient model. You can easily find Energy Star-certified fridges priced between $450 and $1000, which means your new purchase will pay off within the span of its lifetime.”
Hoboken411 Take: Not a bad point. But the money “savings” is a bit exaggerated. See? I can be fair! But keep in mind refrigerators are one thing (they probably will die 3x sooner), but laundry is an entirely different animal. Most, if not ALL “new” washers & dryers SUCK compared to models just 10 years ago. Just sayin’.
7. WASHER/DRYER // 2 YEARS
“If you live around the corner from a laundromat, it may seem more cost-effective to take advantage of someone else’s water, energy, and expensive equipment. But doing a load of laundry only adds an average of $0.50 onto your electric bill, and it isn’t too difficult to find a washer and dryer for around $400 each. According to Deal News, buying machines for this price will pay off in a little less than 2 years, compared to frequenting a laundromat in that time (this is assuming you do three loads of laundry a week). If your set lasts you at least 10 years, you’ll accrue a total savings of $3120. That’s a lot of quarters!”
Hoboken411 Take: This is misleading. Yes, of course it’s more efficient and cost-effective to own your own washer. Comparing Laundromat to operating your own is akin to comparing eating out to cooking at home. So fucking stupid. No doubt a millennial wrote this rubbish.
8. BIKE // 2-4 MONTHS
9. SMART THERMOSTAT // 2 YEARS
“Buying a smart thermostat is a serious investment. Models go for about $250, which is three times what a regular thermostat might cost. But according to one brand’s website, the purchase pays for itself in a little less than 2 years. Since the device is smart enough to keep track of your schedule, it’s able to anticipate when to run and when to conserve energy. That level of efficiency leaves you with an average energy savings of $131 to $145 a year.”
Hoboken411 Take: Disagree. The “ROI” is more like 5-10 years or more depending on the arrangement. The exorbitant cost (often needing contractor assistance) is higher than they suggest. Plus, for those who are good with keeping track of the thermostat levels – it’s almost negligible. It’s purely an excuse to let the “robot” do the thinking for you.
10. HOME GYM // 1-3.5 YEARS
Hoboken411 Take: Number ONE: Stop paying for monthly gym memberships. Unless you’re a PAID professional who NEEDS a “fit” body. You can get “fit” first and foremost by altering your diet (go lo-carb is your best bet). Secondly – you can engage in physically sound activities outside of your disconnected life. Park as far away as you can from the shopping center. Walk extra flights of stairs. There are tons of ways to expend excess energy without paying a “membership” fee to anyone!
11. CABLE MODEM // 9 MONTHS
“Cable users may be tempted to rent their modems for the sake of convenience, but it takes a short time for the $7.95 monthly fee to turn from annoying to impractical. By paying $70 for a cable modem up front, you’ll be paid back in savings in a mere nine months. Your reality TV habit is definitely worth the investment.”
Hoboken411 Take: About the only TRUE point of good advice in this bullshit article. “Listicle” as they call them. Yes, always buy your cable modem.
So what do these articles (listicles) aim to achieve?
My first thought is that they aim to achieve conformity in certain industries. Schools. Power companies. Hybrid car manufacturers. Etcetera.
They try to come across as “authoritative,” and hope that mindless lemmings follow them without critical thought.
But if you read between the lines – it’s all mental persuasion. Nothing more, nothing less.
DO NOT LET “MASS MEDIA” PROPAGANDA AFFECT YOU!