Database Ranking BS!!

Horrible new “trend” – Ranking via database (please make it stop!)

Here’s some food for thought while many of you have an extra day off this week. You know those “Top place in NJ to raise a child” stories? Or the “Best Garden State cities for singles!” type shit-shows? There is next to NO merit in those publications.

Here are the main takeaways for this editorial in case you have a diminished attention-span:

  1. Despite their supposed “analysis,” top ranking stories are 100% subjective. You just need to peel back a few layers to realize that.
  2. There is no way to “rank” anything across the board. Those comparisons are entirely dependent on the individual, not databases or statistics.
  3. The stories are designed to create debate, under the veil of “objective analysis,” and they know that.
  4. The use of so-called “official data” does not matter.
  5. This is a vastly growing trend that is getting worse.

Read on…

ranking stories are the worst kind of stories to tell

Top ranking stories have no value whatsoever

Anyone who is “connected” knows about the rampant use of “databases of information” to create topics of discussion. “Rankings” or “Methodology” are other words they throw into the mix.

I call it “click bait” – the act of creating a “controversial” “opinion” (yes opinion is in quotes because it is not actually an opinion), for the sole purpose of getting unsuspecting idiots involved in a meaningless debate about pretty much jack shit.

But there is an audience

Sadly – there are countless people who CANNOT make decisions soundly on their own. They type Google searches to determine their path in life. Like “Top cities to live in.” What intelligent person would do that? They don’t know how to look at a map and surmise what might work for them on their own? Google is the new heroin!

This is exactly why those publications produce lists like that. To be fair – they’re just filling a niche. Too bad it’s at the expense of a dwindling society.

Peel back a few layers – see the truth

Hoboken411 gets courted several times weekly to “republish” reports of some kind. They usually involve Hoboken.

Like “Worst place to raise a family” (yes that was true). Or “Hoboken is the easiest place to sell a home.” Sure, that may be somewhat true depending on what you’re selling.

But there is a terrible “trend” taking place right before your eyes. Do you see what that is?

The trend of bullshit data analysis!

I’m going to make this part as straightforward as I possibly can make it.

Listen to me: 99.999% of those “ranking” lists are COMPLETE BULLSHIT and don’t really mean anything significant.

database rankings cause people to stop thinkingThey’ve manipulated data or used “favorable” sources.

They’ve adjusted their so-called “methodology” to meet their end goals (based on best demographics for web traffic).

Their sole intentions were:

  • Click bait
  • Attention

That is obvious to those in the publishing industry. But let’s say a few more things about this horrible new “trend” in publications across the globe.

Statisticians found a new niche! WTF!?

Maybe not bonafide “Statisticians,” but American colleges coast to coast have been spewing out hordes of new “business-type” millennials. A good chunk of them proclaim to be proficient in “data modeling” and other stupid-ass statistical rubbish.

These are the people that have “skill” in analyzing (what they believe is factual data) and “tweaking” them into some kind of revelation or discovery of some kind.

But more often than not, they hide behind the veil of “methodology” to claim their stupid “lists” have some kind of validity. No fucking way!

At some point – Hoboken was ranked LAST in New Jersey for some stupid fucking category. I forget what was. Doesn’t matter really.

But they always end their articles with these stupid “Our Methodlogy” sections. Stuff like:

  • 15% was from median household incomes
  • 23% was from household teenage girls who eat sugar-free gum “maybe” 2 or 3 times a week.
  • 42% from the number of people who have “thought” about pizza in the last 10 years.
  • 20% of men who have penises.

This is how ludicrious these “studies” are. It’s apparent that if you throw some semi-official sounding “facts” into the mix – that is where almost everyone STOPS thinking and takes what they read as truth.

They’re not studies at all! They’re merely their own “conglomeration” of (other people’s studies) that they purport to draw a parallel to and from. No way! Any data analyst can “meld” such studies to create a “new” outcome. Just look at popular climate “studies” as well as health and diet studies. They’re all wrong! But they don’t care – because it was enough to push some agenda ahead (cui bono?)

It’s all garbage – and 100% web-traffic bait.

Ignore the rankings – get out of your house

I’ll end this rant with a few simple thoughts and suggestions. Take them for what they’re worth. (or in internet terminology: (“FWIW.”))

  1. NEVER look at ranking lists. For ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. They serve no purpose. They help no people. They’re designed to “divide” anyone that reads them, as well as waste your fucking time.
  2. When seeking out a new locale to live – NEVER look at ranking lists or anything else. DRIVE to where you might live. Walk around. Spend a few days there. “GET A PULSE” for what it is like to live there. That will be 2900x more valuable that some stupid fucking list a 22 year old Millennial made from a computer keyboard 200 miles away. Fuck that pimply-faced punk-fuck!
  3. 99.9% of those lists are not honest. They’re for traffic or “link bait.” No true, long-term, honest research went into ANY of them. So move on.
  4. Lastly – NEVER respond to Main Stream Media (MSM) posts about ranking. Don’t even read them. Walk away. And feel better. Fuck them sideways!

While I know a very few people that “get” that those types of stories are fluff – the majority of the populous does not. Because people stopped thinking.

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