Top 5 Blizzard Don’ts
Top 5 Blizzard Don’ts in Hoboken
This is just like any heavy rain storm – except that it’s frozen precipitation. And that means it will accumulate above the ground and cause an impedance to anyone who is a “challenged walker.” Yes, that is what snow is! Amazing, eh?
It’s fairly elemental.
But when it’s frozen and “accumulates,” it’s a bit different than water – which other than flooding, eventually drains away quite rapidly compared with the many weeks (if not months) we’ll see this snow on the ground. Turning brown. Becoming annoying. “Please make it go away… Looking forward to summer…. “
When we get FEET of snow – it presents a whole slew of problems, which are usually transportation oriented.
So what are the Top 5 things you should avoid during a blizzard?
Number 5: Please postpone medical emergencies
So if you can – please avoid (or postpone if possible) the following medical emergencies:
- Heart attack or stroke. (Stay off carbs, eat lots of veggies, keep blood sugar low, avoid strenuous activities).
- Child birth / labor. (If you’re close to your due date – either try to push it out NOW – or figure out a way to keep the baby in the sack till the weather clears).
- Profuse bleeding. (Any tricky home projects or drunken bar fights should be put off till the storm clears).
- Broken bones. (While not as bad as some other emergencies – try not elevating your body to more than 12″ off the ground. And if out and about, ensure your shoes have proper traction).
- Panic Attacks. (There is nothing to worry about at all. Everything is fine. It will be spring in less that 3 months!)
Number 4: Try not to start any fires!
Any kind of row-house fire in Hoboken at the height of the blizzard, will practically ensure that an entire block burns down. Just because the snow is heavy and wet does not mean that it will aid in any way in preventing such a disaster.
So in order to reduce your risk (and guilt) for starting an epic fire for the history books:
- Do not use candles if you’re a known drunk or narcoleptic.
- Shut your circuit breaker if your house is known to be non-code compliant.
- Playing “fire bomb beer pong” not a bright idea during the storm.
- More than 11 iPhone chargers in a power strip just to keep your facebook stream alive is just not worth it.
- Deep-frying a frozen turkey inside your studio apartment in wood-frame house can wait.
- Firing up the hibachi grill on your fire escape. Just don’t do it. In other words, don’t be an asshole!
Number 3: Don’t run out of booze!
However, you DO run the risk of everyone getting “worried” they’ll have nothing to drown their worries in as the city essentially shuts down for a day.
So with that said – GO OUT NOW AND STOCK UP on at least a week of wine, beer, and spirits.
Number 2: Do NOT order delivery – just plain selfish
Most places are smart – and discontinue food delivery once the storm “gets going.” It’s only common sense. But some places are desperate and will continue the food delivery until the police shut them down.
Best bet? Give them a break and go pick up the food (if they’re still open). Perhaps now your “Four Block Radius Syndrome” will come in handy? Can you muster up the energy to walk?
Another thing is – you should always have at LEAST a week of food ON HAND. Even in our tiny place, we have enough fresh, frozen and dry food to last AT LEAST a month. If we had a bigger place, we would have at least SIX months of food on hand. If you don’t – well shame on you.
TIP: I love the Amish markets in south Jersey. I always buy 10lbs of smoked chicken wings and freeze them. Good for a solid 30 meals (and they taste better when baked at 350 for 30 minutes. Meat falls off the bone!)
Number 1: DO NOT DRIVE!
- You get in the way of snow clearing apparatus.
- You’ll impede emergency vehicles for those who fail to postpone their medical emergencies.
- You’ll look like a giant asshole for venturing out and getting stuck – further proving you’re completely incapable of good judgment.
- You might get carjacked.
How will you fare during this “inclement weather” event?
Anyway – hope all you fare well during this “historic” storm. Facebook and Twitter will be very “snowy” for days to come.
But perhaps when the skies clear, you can find a patch of “untouched” snow somewhere in Hoboken and lay down and reflect on life. And before you get up and mosey to your next destination -you can leave a cute “snow angel” behind for all to enjoy!