Have stroller moms gone too far?
11
February
2/11/2008:
In yesterday’s NY Times, they wrote a piece about how the new-millenium baby boom has started to cause some issues, like in Brooklyn, where some people feel that kids are showing up in places they don’t belong.
Now while I haven’t seen it cross the line that bad here in Hoboken, have any of you seen kids with crayons at your local bar? Does the smoking ban have something to do with this these days?
Look Who’s Getting Rolled Out of the Bar
By Alex Williams
THESE days little children are brought along to places that would have been considered inappropriate a generation ago: four-star restaurants, cocktail parties, rock concerts. But for all the sniping from adults who resent this territorial invasion, the onslaught shows no sign of letting up. In fact, one of its latest flash points is the local bar.
When the owners of Union Hall — a moody, dark-paneled bar and brunch spot in Park Slope, Brooklyn — recently posted a sign that read “Please, No Strollers” under another one reading “No One Under 21 Admitted,” they did not see it as a declaration of war with the neighborhood’s sizable population of young parents.

“The word gets out that this is a place for baby buggies to go, we end up with 8 to 10 strollers, or 15,” said Jim Carden, an owner. He explained that the goal was simply to make sure that the preferred transportation for toddlers of the stay-at-home parents who had adopted the lounge as an afternoon hangout would not crowd out the regular patrons.
Perhaps he underestimated the neighborhood’s vocal and proactive parents. Local parenting blogs were soon bristling with denunciations.
Read the rest of the story after the jump!
(stroller moms, continued…)
“This was a perfect winter moms’ group place for those of us with infants going stir-crazy,” wrote one woman on onlytheblogknowsbrooklyn.com, wondering testily why local mothers could not at least drop in for “a beer once a week when it’s not crowded.”
Of course, the practice of bringing babies and young children to bars is hardly exclusive to Park Slope. The issue has been debated in online message boards in cities like Minneapolis, Philadelphia and Washington.
A woman in Boston, recently posting to yelp.com, a national, user-generated city-guide site, seemed appalled to see a 7-year-old next to her at a bar. (“There were cubes, crayons and candy on top of the bar,” she wrote. “Does anyone else think there’s something wrong with that?”)
In England, the JD Wetherspoon chain of pubs recently implemented a rule making sure that parents who bring young children not only eat a meal, but stay for no more than two rounds. After a recent smoking ban, more families have been bringing children to pubs, and a spokesman for the chain was quoted by the BBC as saying, “Once the children have had their meal, we can’t see a reason why they should still be in the pub.”
In New York, too, the smoking ban has altered the bar’s image. No longer a den of adult sin, the local tavern is now seen as an attractive option for afternoon gatherings among parents. (Neither New York state nor city law forbids minors in bars, although state regulations say children under 16 must be accompanied by an adult, a State Liquor Authority spokesman said.)
It makes extra sense, parents said, in Park Slope, where the demarcation between generations has blurred — in Brooklyn, hoodies and skateboard sneakers constitute a uniform for parents as well as their 5-year-olds.
While critics of bringing children to bars are vocal, some parents have embraced the habit with gusto. In recent years, mothers in Manhattan and in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, gathered for Wednesday afternoon cocktail mixers called Tots and Tonic. One former attendee, Christen Clifford, a writer and actress who now lives in Jackson Heights, Queens, proudly recalled breast-feeding her son, Felix, at the bar before ordering a martini.
It’s one way of denying that your youthful exploits come with a shelf life, she acknowledged. “Psychologically, you feel like, ‘Oh, my life hasn’t changed that much,’ ” she said, “although of course it completely has.”
Neal Pollack, the author of the book “Alternadad,” said that Generation X parents — the types who sport gray whiskers in their beards and Vampire Weekend downloads on their iPods — “value lifestyle above most things.”
“I don’t think it’s a bad thing that people want to continue a semblance of their pre-parenthood lifestyle,” said Mr. Pollack, who lives in Los Angeles. Going to rock shows and bars, he added, is “just what their lives were.”
In a sense, Park Slope is the perfect testing ground for the practice of extreme generational commingling at the local saloon. It is a neighborhood of young parents, of the sort who consider themselves laid back enough that they can carve out some time to knock back a few with junior.
Besides, many like to think of the neighborhood, with its elegant town houses and literary air, as London or Dublin in miniature. In those cities, the pub often doubles as a community center.
Dawn D’Arcy, the manager of the Gate, a bar in Park Slope that routinely sees groups of parents and children drop by during the afternoon, agreed, saying that the Gate was “modeled on an Irish pub.”
“This is a place where people bring dogs in, this is a ‘local,’ ” she said. “Families are a part of that.”
But Park Slope being what it is, the Union Hall debate soon took on metaphorical dimensions. This, after all, is a place where the stroller serves as a symbol: to parents, it’s a token of shared purpose in what many consider a child-rearing Eden; to critics, often artfully scruffy singles who feel crowded out by more affluent stroller-pushers, it connotes relentless gentrification.
The founders of a local blog, takebacktheisland.wordpress.com, which purports to advocate the rights of the childless, were not alone among bloggers who interpreted Union Hall’s gesture as a line in the sand.
“We salute Union Hall for following our lead and sticking up for the rights of childless adults who don’t want to deal with someone’s loud, crying infant when they’re trying to relax and have a drink,” said one of the site’s founders, (both women in their 20s), who uses the screen-name Ruby Stoneheart, in an e-mail response to this reporter’s question about the dispute.
The move by Union Hall is not the first time a local business invited censure by taking on the stroller class. Last year, the two-story Barnes & Noble on Seventh Avenue posted a sign restricting strollers to a designated area on its ground floor; the sign was removed after a neighborhood outcry. In 2005, a bartender at the Patio Lounge, a bar on Fifth Avenue, posted a sign — still known as the infamous “Stroller Manifesto” on local parents’ blogs — that asked, “What is it with people bringing their kids into bars?”
To members of a previous generation, as well as to the proprietors of Union Hall, it would seem like a valid question. Mr. Carden insisted the ban was pragmatic, not dogmatic. He explained that Union Hall contains any number of potential child-hazards that could constitute a liability for the owners — an open staircase, a full-size boccie court involving “hard balls thrown around.”
“Sometimes there are broken glasses,” he added. “It is a bar.”
Hoboken, Stroller Moms, bars, restaurants









221. emarche | February 19th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Actually, Katie, I think she’s more likely to see:
“Your such a grammer Nazi!”
My building, this town, this state, this country, this planet is brimming with inconsiderate people. It’s not going to change. Next topic!
222. hobokentownie | February 19th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Firefox does not have a feature to check grammar. My spelling has improved, by underlying the errors in red.
Since most people don’t catch the grammatical error, is it really an error.
With that being said, the Language Arts was a terrible time in my life.
223. thebinatwork2 | February 19th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
hobokentownie wrote:
There is no logic in saying if one is true, the other one can’t be. Both can be true at the same time. And they are. People do not need to be parents to be incosiderate, I don’t think anyone posited that. And yet the event of having children can (and does) make some people who were previously very considerate less so.
224. Katie_Scarlett | February 19th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
hobokentownie wrote:
Commas are my enemy.
225. matt_72 | February 19th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I don’t really have a problem w/ kids at the bar, but at the same time I don’t have a problem adding a few colorful words to their vocabulary when I start cussing up a storm b/c some ref blew an obvious call during March Madness.
226. Robot Karate | February 19th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
While waiting for the bus on Clinton & 6th last week, there was a woman pushing a stroller south on Clinton, behind the line for the bus. At the corner, where the line turned onto 6th Street, an oblivious commuter was blocking the walkway, talking to the woman behind her. I was another five or six people back in line, but was able to hear the mom clearly say in a pleasant tone, “excuse me, please” twice. When this failed to yield any results, the mom followed with a terse, “EXCUSE ME.” At this point the commuter turned, looked at the stroller, and then turned back to her friend without moving an inch. I couldn’t help but laugh when she was rammed about two seconds later.
227. hobokentownie | February 19th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Robot Karate wrote:
I think that bitch was thebinatwork2 - she has all the characteristics of that idiot.
228. NickAdams | February 24th, 2008 at 11:07 am
While sitting at the bar of a well known bar/restaurant in Hoboken early last night, my friends and I watched, dumbfounded, as a woman allowed a toddler to stumble all over the bar amidst patrons coming and going as this woman stupidly clapped her hands to the mind numbingly loud music while making idiotic faces at this poor toddler who undoubtedly has suffered hearing loss. When the kid finally screamed persistently and loudly enough to be heard even above the extremely loud level of the music, this woman then brought the kid back in to the adjacent dining room, where people were thrilled I am sure to be serenaded by this kid’s wailing while they tried to eat their dinner.
Not too long ago, sitting in a Starbuck’s in Hoboken early on a Saturday morning, I was treated to the tenacious wailing of another kid who, amid dodging between people holding boiling hot cups of coffee, was screaming that he wanted his mother, to which his father replied, “Mommy’s home. Mommy needs some quiet time.” He didn’t care that us Starbuck’s patrons also needed our quiet time, which he stole from us.
About a month ago, I was with a party of five (some who have kids, some who don’t) when we went to a good restaurant in Hoboken about 9pm. There were no less then 3 babies, at different tables, all of whom were making more or less a fuss. We decided to go to the nice place next door for dinner.
What the parents who are bringing their kids to restaurants and bars or engaging in other antisocial behavior involving their kids, don’t seem to grasp or care about, is that they are ruining the experience for everyone else. Most people prefer a dining experience in a restaurant in the exclusive company of adults. We don’t want to hear a kid screaming while we try to hold a conversation when we are out in a bar or restaurant. We don’t want to have to exercise extreme caution in a dark crowded bar or a crowded coffee place because you are stupid enough to let your child run rampant in the midst of clear danger.
The most important thing these parents fail to grasp is that they sound asinine when they call people “kid haters”. I sure as hell don’t hate kids. I just can’t stand idiotic self absorbed selfish parents who don’t give a damn for anyone else. Alas, Hoboken has become infested with these ( and other similar undesirables who think the world revolves around them) in the past couple of years. What you who are guilty of these offenses fail to understand is that the rest of us view YOU, not your child, as the problem.
229. hobokentownie | February 24th, 2008 at 11:58 am
NickAdams wrote:
I guess your parents never took you out to eat dinner. I think this problem will be solved when everyone stops having kids or the money for eating dries up.
Until then, I guess you either need earplugs or a Zanax to relax.
On of my very wealthy clients said something to me recently about this topic - the more money you have the less of a $hit you can care about those who you annoy.
It kind of makes sense, if the parents of the kid cared what you thought they would act differently. It must bother those who feel kids are an issue in the bar/restaurant, when the parents of those kids really couldn’t give a $hit about your hypersensitivity.
230. NickAdams | February 24th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Wow, Hobokentownie, you must be really, really insecure since you mention in almost every one of your many, many posts on here that that you are a lawyer and or have money, like we give a shit. I really doubt anyone on here cares that I am an attorney, or am well to do, why do you think anyone cares that you are?
No, when I was 18 months old, my parents did not take me out to dinner. We had dinner every night as a family at the dinner table at home.
The problem will be solved when inconsiderate assholes like you keep your kids home when you go out to eat.
Funny, my wealthy friends and clients are the exact opposite, they tend to be more intelligent and hence more considerate of others. Guess it’s the kind of clients you deal with.
Nothing hypersensitive about not wanting a screaming kid next to me at dinner.
BTW, I sure as hell wouldn’t want you representing me, if those are the best arguments you can make to defend your indefensible behavior. You sound like those 3 stooges on here, kooky, miss strand stramp and that chop chop moron.
Have a nice day.
231. hobokentownie | February 24th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
NickAdams wrote:
I’ve always believed that there was no cure for stupid, I guess you’ve just proven it to be a fact.
My question to you is this - last night when we went out to eat, kids at home with babysitter, we were seated next to a table of 6 women who got louder as the meal went on and their wine was consumed. The irony is that the family two tables away, with an 18 month old and a 3 year old were much quieter than the boozed up women.
I guess in your world the women have a right to be loud and oblivious to the fact that they are disrupting everyone around them, but the kids need to left at home.
Personally, I hope I am at a restaurant at the same time as you with my kids. Just the mere fact that they will be irritating assholes like you gives me a little happiness knowing that a dick like you gets what he deserves.
Peace ball licker.
232. honcho | February 24th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Ha Ha Chop Chop Moron!!!!
Love it Nick!!!
I agree children are to be seen and not heard!!!
6 drunken chicks or a wailing baby????
Give me a break no contest!!!!
Chop!Chop!
233. hoboken hammer | February 24th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Unless a restaurant has crayons and a place mat where you can color - probably not a kids place. There are plenty of restaurants which cater towards families, and there are places (i.e. bars) which don’t. Easy to figure out - use a babysitter when you go to a place that doesn’t cater to kids, bring them along to places that do.
However, sometimes I enjoy coloring on the placemats myself!
234. SFH | February 24th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
hoboken hammer–you hit the nail on the head
There are family-oriented restaurants where it is appropriate and acceptable to bring kids. If we go to one, then we go fully expecting to see families with kids. As you said, these places are geared to serving families. They have kids’ menus, crayons and plastic cups for kids’ drinks.
On the flipside, there are restaurants that are geared to serving adults. While these places won’t refuse to serve kids, it’s clear that they’re not set up to do so. There are no kids’ menus or crayons. When our daughter was young and we would go out to dinner, we certainly didn’t take her to places like that. One big reason was that there was usually nothing on the menu that would appeal to kids.
Our daughter was well-behaved when we took her out. Only once did she have a melt-down when she was 2. My husband immediately took her outside until she calmed down. We also let her know–many times as she got older–that if she didn’t behave in restaurants, we wouldn’t take her to one.
235. NickAdams | February 24th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
I gotta go with the chopster on this one (much as it pains me to agree with him/her/cousin it? ). What’s not to like about six women sitting at the next table?
Which brings me to Hobokentownie, who complains about having a table of women next to him while he’s eating yet calls me a, uh, well, …I won’t repeat it. Not for nothing, but it sounds like you’re projecting there chief.
Hoboken Hammer hits the nail right on the head with the crayons and mat places. I love those places.
236. Foster | February 24th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
NickAdams wrote:
*********
Man, you would have loved the table next to me last night then. three shreiking, giggling women. Honest to god, her laugh almost broke the glass window. I couldn’t even finish my dinner.
237. hobokentownie | February 24th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
NickAdams wrote:
I wish I could work on your comprehension - here is my point - a group of loud obnoxious people are just as disruptive as a toddler having a meltdown.
Next time I will keep my examples real short to make it easier for you to follow.
I hope your buddy at least gave you a reach around last night after you left the bar. Star Trek marathon next weekend after dart night?
238. NickAdams | February 25th, 2008 at 6:48 am
Wow, townie, you really have a thing for those gay sex practice references. Funny how I had to look up “a reach around”, but you know exactly what it is! That’s OK, it doesn’t make you a bad person. But you are improving, you had two posts without saying you are a lawyer or have a lot of money! But really, the ad hominum attacks are pretty lame. I thought you said ( repeatedly) that you are a lawyer?
Star trek? hahha…..never watched it my life. Dart night?…lol….not my thing…Besides, too many kids running around in the bars to play darts. Oh, and I don’t have a ponytail as you previously imagined. Sorry I don’t live up to your fantasies. So you can forget about the reach around.
You’re just jealous of my trust account.