Buzzword overload: Smooches Mobile Organic Airbrush Tanning

Let’s get the basics out of the way: Smooches Mobile Organic Airbrush Tanning is a “vanity van” that makes sporadic visits to Hoboken. Costs start at $60 per “tan,” and monthly memberships ranging from $200-$300 per month. Heck, you can even buy “packages” of 24 tans for a paltry $1,200 dollars. Money well spent!

Smooches Mobile Organic Airbrush Tanning Hoboken NJ

It seems that certain girls love this spray tan shit

Okay, with that out of the way, let’s share some observations.

  1. I’ve never seen a business website so gushing with superficial accolades. I’m all for creative wording, but if it doesn’t nauseate you, well – you might need some help.
  2. Holy buzzword overload! Organic. Gluten-Free. Healthy. Natural. Not tested on animals. This has taken the “organic” and “gluten free” bull-shit-storm way too far. What next? Clothing and shoes that are gluten-free? Gluten-free cellphones, cars, politicians? It has to stop.

I can’t imagine why anyone would put chemical solutions on their body to alter their natural look. But apparently superficial chicks out there take whatever is left from their paychecks to feed their egos instead of their brains. Can’t say I’m shocked or surprised…

And once you sift through the “scare tactic fluff” that has misinformed everyone over the past few decades, you’ll discover that getting real sun – without sunblock – is extremely healthy.

Smooches Mobile Organic Airbrush Tanning Aliens

Description: Artificially ego enhancing skin tint
Address: mobile
Phone: (714)616-8116
Online: smoochesmobiletanning.comTwitterFacebook