Boring Hoboken ribbon-cutting today
Do these Hoboken ribbon-cuttings always seem the same? All that ever changes is the background.
I refuse to stand around like an idiot to watch these events anymore. So I’ve come up with an invention instead.
The Dave Roberts Ribbon-Cutting Dummy Cutout
Instead waiting for Mr. Mayor to come around and utter some “encouraging” words, you can have your own personal ribbon-cutting whenever you want!
Custom-made to order, you have have any sized Dave “Master of all Ribbon-Cuttings” Roberts cutout for all occasions! With realistic hands holding the ribbon!
Whether it’s a new baby, christening, Sunday football, or any other random event, spruce up your shin-dig with this life-like replica of the original scissor-wielding master himself!
To order, call 1-800-OVR-BUDGT now! None of the proceeds will help the budget in any, way, shape, or form (sound familiar?)
I even used one today, before the actual ribbon cutting, and gosh, I felt like it was really happening!
See more great examples of how YOU can use “Slice-n-Dice Roberts” after the jump.