Boring Hoboken ribbon-cutting today

1/24/2008:

Do these Hoboken ribbon-cuttings always seem the same? All that ever changes is the background.

As reported last week, there will be a celebratory ribbon-cutting over at the disastrous Automated Parking Garage today at 9:30am.

I refuse to stand around like an idiot to watch these events anymore. So I’ve come up with an invention instead.

The Dave Roberts Ribbon-Cutting Dummy Cutout

(patent pending)

Instead waiting for Mr. Mayor to come around and utter some “encouraging” words, you can have your own personal ribbon-cutting whenever you want!

Custom-made to order, you have have any sized Dave “Master of all Ribbon-Cuttings” Roberts cutout for all occasions! With realistic hands holding the ribbon!

Whether it’s a new baby, christening, Sunday football, or any other random event, spruce up your shin-dig with this life-like replica of the original scissor-wielding master himself!

To order, call 1-800-OVR-BUDGT now! None of the proceeds will help the budget in any, way, shape, or form (sound familiar?)

I even used one today, before the actual ribbon cutting, and gosh, I felt like it was really happening!

dave-roberts-hoboken-ribbon-cutting-dummy-automated-robotic-garage.jpg

See more great examples of how YOU can use “Slice-n-Dice Roberts” after the jump.

dave-roberts-hoboken-ribbon-cutting-dummy-cutout-w-hotel.jpg
dave-roberts-hoboken-ribbon-cutting-dummy-cutout-holiday-tasting-2007.jpg
dave-roberts-hoboken-ribbon-cutting-dummy-cutout-first-vomit-at-work.jpg
dave-roberts-hoboken-ribbon-cutting-dummy-cutout-far-hills-hunt-steeplechase.jpg
dave-roberts-hoboken-ribbon-cutting-dummy-cutout-first-baby.jpg
dave-roberts-hoboken-ribbon-cutting-dummy-cutout-first-date.jpg

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10 Comments on "Boring Hoboken ribbon-cutting today"

Colonblow
Member
Colonblow

sexy innards

estevens
Member

Video: Grand Re-re-opening of the automated parking garage. Have a peek at the innards.

http://www.veoh.com/videos/v3311352Y9zC9atP

starfish
Member
starfish

safety scissors + ill fitting suit / hoboken411 = awesome belly laughs ! Thank you for that one…

honcho
Member
honcho

Feel sorry for all the poor parkers who had their cars towed to make room for QC+M !!!! Quimby Corea and Minions!!!!

Multiple tow trucks towing cars across the street from the garage this a.m.!!!!

Chop! Chop!
:mrgreen:

ImaTree90
Member
ImaTree90

…and the “Lifelike Unscooped Doggie Poop” he could be ceremoniously stepping in. (“Real-Stink” spray sold seperately).

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